- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
If you feel uncomfortable with it then chances are it is the OCD. Paedophiles do not feel guilty and actively look to for fill their desires for their own gain with no regard to the child they inflict the pain upon. Thoughts do not equal reality and this is what OCD does, it tries to twist it so you think you ARE a paedophile, or this that and the other. And it’s good at doing it too, but you CAN get through this.
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s the thing. In the past, even just over a day ago, I would feel disgust at the idea of harming or touching a child/teenager. I don’t even like interacting with teenagers/minors in any capacity if it can be helped. But as of yesterday it feels like a complete 180, like maybe I would enjoy it or that it wouldn’t be bad. I feel more numb than anything. My friends tell me “well pedophiles feel good about it” so maybe my brain makes me feel good about it to line up with that idea. I feel numb/neutral to it in the worst way. Now I’m questioning if my attraction to adults has been fake this whole time.
- Date posted
- 5y
First, I'd just point out that pedophilia refers to being primarily attracted to pre-adolescent children. The definition doesn't include teens and also doesn't include molestation. People tend to use the word incorrectly. Having said that, OCD generally doesn't care about facts anyway. Having thoughts and feelings isn't a crime even though it can feel like it. Ultimately you have to sit with the uncertainty and live out your values ☺.
- Date posted
- 5y
Sounds like you’re having a backdoor spike. Those are basically feeling anxious about not feeling anxious about something. I get them sometimes, kind of have one right now about the same topic. My anxiety has been a lot more than usual and I think right now it’s just tired out from worrying.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Why the h•••ll did this happen to me? Seriously, I felt like a normal person yesterday, and now this morning, I feel like I am now a p•••do. When I first woke up, I kept thinking about about the usual things about a kid, only this time it felt real. It was like I was into them sexually and because of that, my private parts growed. Even though I kept saying "no, no ,no" a lot, I felt was only talking to open air and it didn't feel like I meant it God, for the last couple of days, I truly felt normal for once, and against these thoughts. But now I know that I am a p•••do and a piece of s••••it for seeing kids that way. If I could go back before all of this happened, I f••••cking would. Because I KNOW I was never like this before.
- Date posted
- 16w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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- Date posted
- 15w
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
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