TW pedophilia I know you lot aren’t professionals, but I need serious advice. In the past I would imagine myself doing sexual things with a teenager to see how I would feel and generally I would go “ew no”, but now it feels like I would. I’m worried that I would do things with a teenager when just a few days ago I would have told my brain that I absolutely would not because I’m not attracted to them. I know false attraction is a thing. I feel like my brain has taken “pedophiles feel good about their pedophilia and since you experience anxiety about it you don’t” and made it into “now you don’t feel anxiety and maybe you’d enjoy it”. I don’t want this. It fee unrealistic that I would make such a 180 in under 24 hours, but I feel convinced that I am a pedophile. I don’t know what to do and my appointment isn’t until the week after next. I just want some insight to see if anyone has heard of this phenomena or experienced it themselves.

*TW* Hey guys this may be a weird one but I’m really really struggling with the below article. Hoping someone who has read it before can clarify? https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/talking-pedophilia-ocd-dr-steven-phillipson/ The main ones that freak me out are this: “so a person might look at a child, and find that child to be pretty, or potentially to even be sexually arousing, and then the person that becomes highly distressed” Wouldn’t that just make someone a non offending P? “Persons with Pedophile OCD are exactly the opposite. They have associations regarding children in a sexual way, but then react to those associations as if they are a moral criminal” By associations does the author mean unwanted thoughts? “Someone with POCD in recovery would be able to notice children being attractive, even finding some sexual nature in a child under the age of 18 and not react as if their whole world is collapsing around them.” If you’re finding sexual nature in a child, I’m just so so scared that this article means the sexual attraction is genuine and I’m a non offending pedo. I didn’t really find a clear distinction. I’m so so sorry for posting this, I’m in tears and barely slept last night. Hope this doesn’t affect anyone else just really need some clarification if I get an unwanted sexual thought is that genuine attraction still or just POCD tricking my mind into thinking it is and it’s not sexual attraction at all? Thank you

TW: I’m so desperate lately. I can’t sleep, eat or do anything else than feeling anxious and unworthy, full of guilt. A couple of days ago I had sex with my boyfriend and wasn’t turned on and suddenly I thought about something that would turn me on in that moment, thought of different things and suddenly I thought „Just think about children, just this one time“ and I feel like I didn’t do anything against it, I even think I enjoyed it and since then I’m full of fear because I always thought OCD means you do not have these thoughts because you want them but because you can’t control them and you do not act on them. But now I feel like I have and I can’t stop thinking I really am a pedophile now. I feel so anxious depressed and guilty and I do not know what to do, I went to my therapist today and she said it’s my POCD, but I feel like a liar, I’m feeling like maybe I don’t have POCD, I am just denying what I truly am it is horrible I don’t know what to do or think. I’m lost

Need some advice here as I feel like such a sick twisted person..I feel like I may have sexual intrusive thoughts ocd but sometimes I think it’s just me and my twisted brain- intrusive thoughts about my family members has turned into pedophilia ocd and what makes it worse is that I work with children. Lately I’ve been seeing sexual intrusive images of me sexually abusing young children normally male, and I am obviously distressed by them and I would never act on that but it makes me feel like I would actually do that cause of the feeling I would get and it’s all so confusing and scary cause I would never do that to a child. Please someone help that has maybe been through a similar experience?