#harmocd This is the most uncomfortable sensation in the entire world. It first started with me having a random thought of “I could hurt my dog so many ways right now” I instantly felt this weight on my chest and internal distress that I cannot explain. Now, I feel uncomfortable being around my boyfriend of 7 years because I feel that I will really hurt him although I know I won’t. It is an internal battle that Is absolutely crippling. I can’t help but question “Am I really a psychopath? Do I really want to kill my boyfriend?” Just writing this I feel crazy. I even catch myself caressing him and touching him more just to assure myself that I won’t hurt him. I feel like this is taking over my life. I wake up with immediate anxiety without any thoughts. I feel more anxiety then I even do the thoughts and If I forget for a split second, it rushes back to the surface and I am crippled again. Can anyone please share some advice. I can’t take this.

I know. I feel for all of us whom deal with such a traumatizing illness. This just sucks

Like it often makes me feel like I have a double personality. Ive wondered if Im a psychopath, if Im schizophrenic, if I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It sucks

@luchalysol Yeah, it’s absolutely horrible. Atleast we have each other ❤️

@kat0294 Thank you! Im so glad I found you and the others here. Its a sense of relief that none of us are alone

@luchalysol Yes I feel the same way ❤️❤️ one day we will all look back at this dark moment in our lives and be so relieved we overcame it!

@kat0294 I truly hope so. Im nervious but excited to start treatment. Are you currently in treatment?

@luchalysol No not yet. But I will begin soon. I have been feeling this way for a couple of days, I’m hoping to overcome it on my own. It’s just hard.

@kat0294 I totally get it. Im hoping we both get better and that we can overcome this

@luchalysol We will ??

It’s the absolute worst! It’s comforting to know that we are not alone in this. So many people suffer this. I thought I was the only one crazy enough to have these thoughts. Deep down we know that this is not who we are. Because of that, we will overcome this ❤️

@kat0294 I truly hope it is ocd and Im not some evil psychopath. Ive cried so much I can't cry anymore. It has made me question how scared I truly am of this. Ocd is making me doubt who I truly am

@luchalysol Think about it like this: if you were truly a psychopath, you wouldn’t be so afraid and feel as terribly as you do. It is the OCD playing with your head. It is not real. If it were real, you would’ve done it by now. You wouldn’t be so afraid.

@kat0294 Someone evil wouldn’t be crying and feel as badly as you do!!! Do not doubt who you are. We will get through this!

@kat0294 I truly hope so. I keep telling myself that I have to be honest and tell my therapist on the 20th. Im so afraid she will report me and Ill lose my son. But Im also prepared to face the consequences for others' safety. I know deep down who I am, hut its so hard to believe with all these thoughts

@luchalysol Maybe try to find a therapist that specializes in harm ocd?

Great! Don’t worry. They are here for you and will guide you on the road to recovery. We will overcome this when we least expect it! I dealt with this many years ago. And it just vanished from one day to the next. It’s all in the mind!

@kat0294 I hoping it does. Im hoping this is ocd. Im hoping I can one day live a normal and happy life.