MY LAST HOPE PLEASE HELP ME These thoughts feel like I like them, I constantly imagine if I would like gay anal sex,! I feel like giving up and accepting I’m gay, ( I don’t want to be gay) but I just can’t fight it anymore, if I’m gay what can I acc do, I remember how fake and how unreal these thoughts felt at the start, but now they feel real, and I caught up with how I get aroused at the thought of gay sex I just don’t feel myself anymore, I’ve always had crushes on girls and only girls, I’m 16 and even when I went to a all boys school I didn’t have any attraction to boys at all, The first months of having hocd( I think it’s this) I was so upset and wanted to die, I lost my attraction to girls overnight and I was in a relationship, I beat these thoughts and developed harm ocd and thought I would hurt my girlfriend. This all went after we broke up and now hocd feels like I like it and want it, Like I acc used to hate the thought of being in a relationship with a guy, I still do but my loss of attraction and false attraction/urges just feel so real towards men! What’s the point fighting this anymore, I really don’t want to be gay but it feels like I’m gonna end up being it, I don’t get how sexuality can change against your own will I use to watch bisexual 3 soms ( two men one women) but I still came over the girl I just don’t get this shit anymore, I have been diagnosed with hocd/ ocd but it feels to real and like I like it, please has Someone been through this l

Does it feel like u like it sometimes ?

@frghtfdfh It feels like I want it which makes me think I'm considering "it won't be that bad" "try it out" Stupid urges :/

@stars Yeah when masterbaiting do u try to think about the thoughts to see if u like it, and that makes u feel like u like it ?

@frghtfdfh i don't do that and i try to avoid that because of my mental images and stuff

Wdum! I don’t want to be gay, I fear being gay

Yeah I get that but I don’t want to be it, are u trying to convince me to be it ?

Idek, just want to know I’m straight

@frghtfdfh You know about the OCD cycle right and how giving any real proof to OCD won't make sense to both you and OCD? I can explain in detail if you're not sure about this cycle.

@Believe Yes please

@frghtfdfh A compulsion comes into your consciousness, you either try to fight the compulsion or go with it and do it to relive anxiety. Relieving your anxiety for short term by doing the compulsion connects with your subconsciousness, when you fight the compulsion it connects with your mental functions of OCD. These functions and your subconscious are interconnected with each other. They process information with each other and then send the message back again to your consciousness where you first met the compulsion. Thus, if you're giving proof to OCD, you're relieving your anxiety for short term but this wont stop the cycle. Your brain will still go against the proof however true it may be because that's how OCD and your subconsciousness works. If you fight the compulsion it will add changes to your mental functions and they will direct messages to your consciousness to make yourself face the compulsion when it appears again. After a while when you keep fighting the compulsions, your brain understands that it's okay and you shouldn't get anxious anymore. As this is a cycle, one thing will surely affect the another. But giving proof to this cycle is completely out of its way and until this cycle isn't changed, both you and your OCD will keep continuing with the same things.