Hey guys I’m new to this and reading your posts really help me relate and not feel so alone. So I’ve been having a problem lately, I had an intrusive thought about my nephew that I had his finger in my mouth when I was doing something. Now I would never do this and it goes against everything it caused me distress and agony it was so much anxiety, it was effecting my health physically and mentally. I was driving home from school the one day when I was fighting with these thoughts in my head. I basically was having an argument with them in my mind, me against me lol. But I yelled at the top of my lungs what do u want me to say that I did it and liked it, all of a sudden the anxiety went away. I thought wow my mind finally saw that this is not true and it was all in my head. But I’m not sure what was going on because I think instead of that intrusive thought it took the power over to another much stronger one. The thought of OMG why did that anxiety go away am I attracted to kids? Am I a pedophile. It made me sick and want to puke everywhere. Then I did the worst and did compulsions I started to look online and look at random pictures of kids and was talking to myself saying u didn’t have an attraction or get a sexual feeling from and say see you are not attracted to kids it’s just a thought you had. I then got scared and said omg did u just get a sexual feeling from that, mostly my mind playing tricks on me right? it made me shake and want to puke. Im so scared of this thought. I am far from one to want to harm or do anything to kids at all I love kids. Tomorrow I’m going to decorate a tree with my nephew, do u think being around him will help take the anxiety away ? Does anyone have any preference in this? Help, thanks so much