Ever since OCD started I cannot daydream about girls without being intruded by guys and I feel like I oblige them a space in my orientation. I've allowed for that hoping it would go away, but it has stayed and now I can't almost imagine myself with a girl at all. It's like I'm going from lesbian to bisexual to straight right now. I do not know what to do except sit with it. It feels the same as I was in denial.

I feel the same way except I’m straight and a male I’ve only liked girls my whole life and now it feels like I want to be with guys

I don't want to identify as bisexual because it implies I like men and I am not okay with that. I may start calling myself a sapphic or a wlw or something of that kind - I love women and that's all I care about.

@Tyler11 Yeah. It's so stupid, because I no longer feel like my brain I'd nagging that I want to be with guys, it's just I feel obliged to perform attraction to them because I have to include them in my orientation.

@fenna Same that’s how I use to feel I adored girl and always dreamt of having a wife and now it’s so clouded and it feels like all those feelings were fake I’ve had like 3 girlfriends in my life and my mind keeps telling me I was faking all those feelings

@Tyler11 I’ve done sexual things with girls and supposedly it was all fake and forced by myself and I just didn’t know

@Tyler11 I hate my mind

@Tyler11 I feel the exact same. I'm sorry you're going through this.

@fenna Hey, I just want to say if you feel like you only want girls, then you can call yourself a lesbian. It sounds like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself right now when you’re very certain you don’t like boys. If you don’t like boys and don’t find them attractive and you only want to be with girls then there’s your answer! You said ‘I don’t want to identify as bisexual becuase it implies I like them and I am not okay with that’ so what’s your problem?

@beatingocd I've now realized I was attracted to men in the past. I thought my fantasies were only self harm, but I have expressed desire for a few guys in the past. It wasnt strong enough for me to act on it, but I think I did find those guys attractive. I've never felt turned on enough to make me absolutely crave them like I do with women, but I did feel some desire. Therefore, I can't call myself gay. I don't like being called bisexual because it implies I would want to actually pursue them, which I don't. Febfem is probably the closest thing I am to. It doesnt feel entirely right, but it calms me down the most. What I hate the most is that as soon as I sat down on bisexual I feel the need to force crushes and desire onto men again in order to prove the label right and go back to interpreting every single feeling for men as attraction. I feel like I have to be attracted to every guy I find or found beautiful. I like how long hair looks on guys. I like how glasses look on a person. And now I guess I'm trying to find "my type" of guy so I could sit down with the bisexual label. I still find myself opposed to the male physique, like I love boobs, I love vulvas, pussy is fantastic and I would miss those things in a guy, given that I absolutely find dick revolting. I dont think I could ever have a proper relationship with a guy given I haven't had a crush or fell in love with one, but the most I would go with a guy is likely an occasional hookup. I would never marry one. That's why I don't like to be called bisexual but I am.

@beatingocd It is especially hard because I do not think I like any guys right now. Well I do have a guy I love, but when I think about sitting on a date with him I dread it. I don't think I can ever have enough significant attraction to a man to sustain a relationship but maybe I'm just too young, I have no idea. I fully would be able to sustain a relationship with a right woman though. I guess it's because I haven't met the right guy yet. Being with a guy sounds like a chore, so therefore I am not willing to pursue it. Sorry, I appreciate your intents but there is no hiding anymore.

@fenna No need to apologize, it’s tough. I know how you feel but the opposite. I couldn’t imagine myself with a girl, the thought of it sends me into a panic attack. But I’m getting through it, and you will too. Take it day by day