All the Christians on this app, drop your instagrams (if you want). I really need other Christians to talk to who also struggle with religious ocd and doubt ?

Hi. First of all, I relate heavily. I think I may feel the urge to try to be perfect but the truth is that we can’t. Jesus doesn’t want us to try to be perfect. He wants our heart. Christians are not supposed to be sinless because that’s impossible. When we receive the Holy Spirit, He begins to change us to be more like Christ. Don’t try to be perfect. Try to be you. We aren’t meant to go sin whenever we want, but we also aren’t meant to stop sinning altogether. I have religous ocd, and I feel guilty a lot too. I worry maybe I am trying too hard, or that I am being spiritually lazy. Please don’t end your life because ultimately Jesus wants you here for a reason.

Yes. I tended to focus on one or two things at a time, and even then, trying to get those perfect was maddening. Is still maddening. It’s hard to want to live out the rest of this life sometimes. But! I am working on reframing my story—by acknowledging I *do* have a legit problem with my thinking, that it isn’t just a matter of try harder. Because “try harder” is so dry and soul-sucking. Best of luck.

@Alyosha Did you ever feel like you had to do things like reading your Bible etc ?

@erikaxo Yeah. Had to read my Bible every day or I’d go to hell. Had to believe perfectly. Felt I had to avoid all profanity. Currently struggling with worries about honesty, vows, the Pauline passages about women’s roles, and doing romantic relationships perfectly biblically.

@Alyosha Oh, and fantasy. Went through this weird phase where I was obsessed with fantasy being wrong. The rules in movies/stories had to perfectly match God’s physical rules.

@Alyosha Has it gotten better at least?? I don’t know if I deal with it that severely and I do love to read the Bible, but I don’t wanna do it if it’s just a compulsion. I worry whether or not my actions are genuine. But I do see a change in my life regarding my desires.

@erikaxo Has it gotten better... I wish I could give a resounding “Yes!” But, the scrupulosity has always been the hardest for me. I’ve had such a hard time even *seeing* it was a problem. That’s still a struggle. I’m part of a strict religious community, and it’s been so hard to make the differentiation between “normal” and “abnormal.” God grant you the strength to make a speedier recovery than I’ve made. I HAVE managed not to read my Bible on many days. I actually got quite used to not reading it.

@Alyosha I am sorry that you feel it is strict, unless that is okay with you. I am also sorry that it hasn’t gotten better. I think it’s so important to stay in the Word so I try to seek Him even when I feel this way. Maybe that makes it worse, I’m not sure. But Jesus sees us in our struggles. Thank you for being honest!

@erikaxo Thanks! I’m wondering if it’s my mission to point out to my community how we might be “binding what God has not bound.” Martin Luther-style. OR it may be that my community isn’t actually that strict, and my perspective is too skewed right now to see that. Have you ever watched “The Gospel of John” film? I find it helpful to imagine Jesus as smiling and being friendly, like that film portrayed. When I first saw a scene from it, I realized before that I hadn’t imagined Jesus as being that friendly.

@erikaxo It’s so difficult to deal with cause my family can’t relate. I have no one in my family that tries to understand. I think they think I’m just mentally not fit to do anything in life so when I do persue a relationship and I freak out and break up they say. “Oh it must not be Gods will or you just need to be happy single and it’s like they totally don’t get the pain and the struggle and the depression. They even think it’s sin in my life that’s caused my struggles. This kind of thinking from family makes me so unbelievably depressed angry and alone and then God just sits there and does nothing to help yet I’m supposed to believe he’s good and he loves me. It’s really difficult to do that.

@BEACHY Thanks for your openness. That takes guts.

@BEACHY I understand completely. Sometimes it can be so easy to wonder why God isn’t helping us, I’ll be honest I’ve thought that too. “Why isn’t He helping me?” It reminds me of this in Scripture. “8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 We live in a fallen world, and that is why you and I have this disorder. It seems so unbearable at times, but we were told we would have suffering in life. Sometimes God will heal us. Sometimes He won’t. When we truly know Him, we know that the suffering we have now won’t matter when we stand before Him, and He welcomes us home. I am so sorry that your family doesn’t understand. I do, and I am here with you. 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

@erikaxo I love that 2 Cor passage. It says to me “You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to feel perfect. That‘s what my grace is for.” Thanks for sharing!

thats okay! do you have any social media?? if not we can just talk here !! ?

@erikaxo Social media was becoming addictive and getting me down. So I’ve been taking a break. What about your faith/community brings you the most joy? What part of church do you like the most? ?

@Alyosha I am a relatively new believer. I grew up Christian, but it wasn’t until recently that I started to act like it and turned from my sinful ways, and now I have new desires and the desire to grow closer to Jesus. I see myself changing, however my ocd makes me worry about my faith a lot. I worry “what if?” I’m too focused on my “works” and I guess I feel that because of my religious ocd I feel I need to do things, but I know that we cannot earn salvation. It makes me question everything. I have a Bible study that I go to every Wednesday and I love it. I want to get back into a regular church too, but I watch services online for now. I didn’t develop ocd until I started growing in my faith and it’s so emotionally draining where I constantly doubt my salvation and I depend on my feelings quite a lot. Like I said, I didn’t have religious ocd until I started to grow in my faith and it stresses me out. I am on medication now, so I hope that helps. I’m just struggling to find that peace.

@erikaxo My obsessions were focused on religion and morality before I ever became a Christian, which was 17 years ago now. It has made me feel like some kind of imposter. My best friend has been really good about stressing to me that feeling unsaved and being unsaved aren’t the same thing.

@Alyosha Ohh really? That’s so interesting. It’s really not a fun thing, but thank you so much for that! That’s very true and I didn’t even think about that!

Don’t be embarrassed!! I would say if you feel comfortable maybe you could say something. Ultimately I would hope they would be loving and understanding and who knows, maybe some may feel the same way. I haven’t watched that, I should though. I think we can feel sometimes that God is angry at us, but He is very loving to His children. I am constantly doubting and worrying and I am glad He doesn’t get impatient lol.