PLEASE not reassurance but just advice I am scared.. I realized one if my biggest issues is feeling stuck, and purposely feeling this way like as if im some stubborn punk who wont do erp and wont get better then leaving myself in a panic mode of stuckness for life. How do I do ERP or CBT for this, I bounce from harm which isnt as bad because I know I wont do it, to then this obessesion which I cant seem to get around, I know uncertainty is the answer but anytime I try to look into cbt / erp i get thoughts to stop and to not do it etc, I just tried doing research and immediately started to freak out because I cant tell what my persona is and if I will be able to recover.. just due to my own self keeping me stuck.. please help.. I am freaking out because I will never be able to escape my own mind and I am making this way worse for myself

hey im not sure what you mean, i want to recover deep down but my obsession is images of an opposite true me

@Eddie6 like images of me not wanting to recover and being stuck this way .. like it feels real i know no one would want to live this way though.. i am my own worst enemy.. my mind is very tricky i always feel like i would be the hardest patient to care for

@Eddie6 Even the hardest patient to care for deserves support and can improve

@NOCD Advocate - Katie i tried to reach out to nocd couldnt figure out how to get virtual help, it said it wasnt available in my state.. i need help sooner than later i cant wait anymore

@Eddie6 Here's a link to a search tool to find OCD specialist care https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/

Almost like fear of my own self keeping me from getting better

@Eddie6 Ah ok. Do you have like a therapist or someone guiding you through doing ERP?

@Nikki1809 in a way yes but I think I need more, i am trying to get into an IOP but its very busy and has a 2 month waiting period

@Eddie6 Ok. Yeah that makes sense. Have you brought up this issue with the person your working with? Otherwise I think it sounds like you are trying to take steps to get better and I would probably just say keep taking those steps, keep doing ERP, and when you have these fears just let them sit, like you would any ocd thought and keep going about your day.

@Nikki1809 i feel like i never have enough time during my appointments.. i am scared inside, i dont trust myself to do what it takes to get better

@Eddie6 I’d say if it’s something that’s really bothering you it’s worth bringing it up next time you see this person. Also, even if you have doubts, you can still keep doing what seems like the next best step. Like trying to get into IOP, and doing the cbt homework.

@Nikki1809 very true, i feel like scared nikki, like i used to have harm o but i could still live life. Now i feel like im at a new phase I dont like it

@Eddie6 I’m sorry that sounds scary. Keep hanging in there. You’ve got this!