I dont think I deserve love. I hate myself. Want to hurt myself-- just a slap to my skin or pulling my hair. Just to ground myself, or maybe as a punishment for all the shit I've done. So much goes through my mind. Too many thoughts that I cant disprove. I truly am a monster. Fuck. Yall might try to say I'm not, but have you seen my other posts? I'm a disgusting, hurtful person. I hate myself so fucking much I hate my brain.

"Pure" OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I know it can be hard to cope with the shame and frustration that comes with OCD, but you are not your thoughts, even if your thoughts seem terrible to you. It seems a lot of us are having hard nights tonight. Please try to treat yourself with kindness—even if you don’t beleive you deserve it. I saw Katie the advocate suggest to someone once that they should act as if they loved themselves, even if they don’t, and see what happens. Because the way we change thoughts and emotions is to change actions. Hope this helps some. ❤️

Connie101

Date posted: 5y

What happened?

BelieveInYou...

Date posted: 5y

There is a technique from CBT known as thought restructuring which helps you to know when you're having such thinking traps without your conscious presence. Here's the link: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-guide/cognitive-restructuring You're not alone, OCD isn't your fault. Dont blame yourself for the actions that happened due to OCD. It's an OCD cycle in your brain to see yourself wrong and doubtful but you know you have this disorder and how you really wanna work for yourself despite the circumstances OCD bringing into your life. ?

devansh

Date posted: 5y

I feel the same right now

Imnew@this

Date posted: 21w

I feel like a monster

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I honestly feel so overwhelmed by my thoughts—so overwhelmed that I honestly don’t care anymore. I feel like I’m accepting the fact that I’m a monster and have always been a monster. I broke down last night because of these thoughts but I wouldn’t tell anyone if they asked. It wouldn’t make sense to them. This morning, I was watching a body cam video and the person that was arrested was traumadumping about their past SA. I felt like I liked the thoughts and images I got from it. And instead of being disgusted, I let it happen. What does this mean? Does this mean that I’m a monster? Am I a just a monster in disguise?

Lpwia

Date posted: 19w

Im sorry

I know this isn’t healthy but I’m in a really bad place. If I actually did something so disgusting I don’t deserve to live. I know me dying would just cause more pain but I feel it’s what I deserve. I confessed on here, which I know I shouldn’t have, but being ignored is making me worry that my actions were actually unacceptable

nae nae

Date posted: 19w

Horrible morning

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've spent the morning crying, and I feel like I don't deserve to. I feel like I'm a horrible person or a... you know. I'm so sick of this. I'm just so tired of everything. I don't see my psychiatrist until two weeks from now. How am I going to make it till then? :( Even writing this post, I feel like I'm deceiving everyone and that I'm actually a monster. I'm so convinced of this right now. I don't know what to do. I was literally okay a few days ago. I don't even know what's real and what's not, like... I think I do? But everything is so distorted. I can't stop replaying memories trying to figure things out. I really need my psychiatrist right now. I feel like I need to confess, like I've been trying so hard not to, but every person I see, I just keep thinking about how badly I want to ask them if I'm a bad person or not, and that makes me feel worse. A good person wouldn't feel the need to ask that over and over again, would they? What if I'm just seeking validation because I can't accept that?

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