I dont think I deserve love. I hate myself. Want to hurt myself-- just a slap to my skin or pulling my hair. Just to ground myself, or maybe as a punishment for all the shit I've done. So much goes through my mind. Too many thoughts that I cant disprove. I truly am a monster. Fuck. Yall might try to say I'm not, but have you seen my other posts? I'm a disgusting, hurtful person. I hate myself so fucking much I hate my brain.

I know it can be hard to cope with the shame and frustration that comes with OCD, but you are not your thoughts, even if your thoughts seem terrible to you. It seems a lot of us are having hard nights tonight. Please try to treat yourself with kindness—even if you don’t beleive you deserve it. I saw Katie the advocate suggest to someone once that they should act as if they loved themselves, even if they don’t, and see what happens. Because the way we change thoughts and emotions is to change actions. Hope this helps some. ❤️

What happened?

There is a technique from CBT known as thought restructuring which helps you to know when you're having such thinking traps without your conscious presence. Here's the link: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-guide/cognitive-restructuring You're not alone, OCD isn't your fault. Dont blame yourself for the actions that happened due to OCD. It's an OCD cycle in your brain to see yourself wrong and doubtful but you know you have this disorder and how you really wanna work for yourself despite the circumstances OCD bringing into your life. ?

I feel the same right now