Does anyone’s hocd get worse on or around their periods? I’m on mine rn and it hit me like a fuckinf truck, I actually was doing better and now I’m back to being certain I’m bi and I have to check out girls butts and boobs and I get groinal and it feels like I like it. I have to imagine having sex w girls constantly to check and it feels like I would really want and enjoy it but I have a bf and love him and that’s all I want ? does anyone relate to this, also does anyone think I could just be bi in denial bc when I think abt “coming out “ as bi I get this excitement feeling like it would be fun and I could be myself but that’s not what I want??? it feels like I want both genders yet at the same time I just want men

It’s always the worst around period time ?

Can you describe to me what that feels like for you? Also is it worst on ur periods too ugh do you get the urges too to come out and be happy

@kitkat i dknt get urges to come out anymore but when i picture having sex with a girl in genuinely feels like i want it and i do get aroused, i was addicted to lesbian porn for like a year, i think that has a lot to do with it tbh. does your heart drop when people say “you might be gay” like after asking or telling them your problems and what you’re going thru? i’ve had a breakdown every single day for the past few days, the thoughts just scare me so much.

@holley I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, are you on meds or tried erp yet? I’m on 20 mg Prozac but it hardly helps ): and me too when I was 12 I got curious and addicted to lesbian porn and that’s a huge factor in my hocd and why I get groinals too. Do u know why u got addicted to it? Also yes my heart drops too when people say that which is why I don’t tell anyone anymore bc I don’t want them saying that to me ?

@kitkat i’m glad i’m not the only one! and i was honestly just curious yk? i’m holley btw. something else is that i’ve been Struggling hocd For about a year. Last year there was this girl who likes me and I thought I had hocd but then I was like oh I guess I do like her because one day I was texting her and I had these weird butterflies in my stomach and I miss took that as may be liking her. I came out is bi but I remember being super unhappy like i just wasn’t myself yk?? i’ve been questioning for about a year on and off.

@holley and i’m on 50mg of zoloft

that’s crazy! in my heart i knew like i just did it because it was a popular thing to do yk? and it feels wrong when i say that it feels like im gay and i hate this! anyway do you want my snap so we can talk about our journey?? or even my email or something. i’ve never found someone with a story so similar!

@holley I don’t have snap and my email is for work, is it okay we just talk here on my thread? Maybe we can help each other, I’m rly struggling rn and I’d like to hear more of what ur dealing with too

@kitkat of course!

@holley Awesome! So if it’s ok to ask, when you used to get urges to come out as bi did it feel real and like excitement? Also do you create romantic and sexual scenarios in your head w girls to see if you like it bc I do and it feels like I really like it and want it like for example I imagine I’m cuddling a girl and it feels like I would really like that and need it but I don’t???

@kitkat okay sooooo it didn’t feel like an excited urge to come out, my heart would drop when my brain told me to do that and like yes i create those scenarios all the time and it feels like i would like it, tbh it’s so annoying

@holley Idk if excitement is even right bc it feels more like anxiety, since my heart feels pressure and like I can’t breathe right. But my brain tells me how happy and fun it’ll be to come out so that makes it feel like excitement? Yeah I agree it’s annoying, do you have a bf as well? I used to only have thoughts about him but now I can only think gay thoughts it sucks I used to be so boy crazy

@kitkat omg sameeeee and yes i do have a bf. all i can think about is gay thoughts too. it’s every second of every single day. it’s been going on the last 3 months. even when we have sex, kiss, or anything. the first 2 months was perfect. now it’s torture.

@holley It’s every second for me too ? I can’t even have sex w my bf bc it made me lose my attraction to men, do you have that too? Also the times I do feel turned on by him ( sorry tmi ) my mind switches it into gay thoughts and then I can’t think about my bf anymore ): any tips on how to deal w this bc I’d love to think abt only him again lol

@kitkat this happens to me!! i get wet when we make out and do sexual stuff but it just feels forced??? does this happen to you??? i can never think about him i hate it. i just kind of push through when we have sex and try to ignore the thoughts but they won’t go away.

did you notice any change on 50mg??

@holley My psychiatrist said that 100mg of Zoloft is normally the minimum with people with OCD cause our anxiety is so severe

i guess it doesn’t feel forced because i wouldn’t and same anna it feels weird i guess i hate it

@holley I hate it too, what’s weird is even reading people’s stories on this app now gives me groinals it’s like everything gay just turns me on. But like why, I don’t like it and I wasn’t this way before

@kitkat i know. same . i feel trapped.