When my HOCD really kicked in I feel like I was never attracted to girls, my brain makes me feel like it is a lie and that I will be better off gay. I am not a masculine masculine male I am more feminine I guess which my brain uses against me as evidence that I am gay. Anyone else experience the decrease in attraction and your brain using parts of who you are as evidence you are gay?

It's probably not good that I comment about this because it is a form of reassurance for both of us..but anyway I suppose it removes the sense of isolation by sharing similar experiences. To answer your question: Yes all the time. There are days when I just 'feel gay'. Things I do that my OCD will pick on. Like being friends with girls. My OCD will tell me that straight men don't have friends that are girls. Sometimes it's music that I like..list goes on..hope you can relate somewhat

I have felt very isolated, I have suffered for 6+ years and just believed I was in denial and that my thoughts meant something. Than I learnt about ocd and was diagnosed. Like everything you’ve described in your paragraph is me exactly and I’ve habitualised to the thoughts and somewhat accepted them however the ocd triggers me every time

@ApparentlyitsOCD None of that it evidence that you are or might be gay. You know what is...? Having sex or wanting to have sex with a man. This is not the same being afraid that you might want to or scared that your orientation is not what you think it is. But none of this matters because OCD can't be reasoned with and this is all just a form of reassurance for you which might give you some relief for a while but then will come back tomorrow. The best you can do is just watch the thoughts and feelings come into your awareness and judge for what they are: Thoughts and feelings. And you are not defined by thoughts and feelings but by your actions.

You're not alone my friend. It's been an ongoing theme for me since I was 13. It has been the most intense in the last 2 years since I broke up with my gf. Are you in therapy/on meds? I find a combination to be quite effective.

Btw none of what I'm saying here is new. Just second hand knowledge. I go through the same struggles as everyone else on here so I won't pretend I'm 'cured' by saying these things