I know this app is mainly for people who are struggling with this because it’s like a safe place to vent. But is there anyone who has recovered from this or seen some progress in some way? Genuinely asking for help I want to get better and go back to who I was before this. Okay so specifically how do I just break the cycle? I always think back to when I had my first panic attack about this and I remembered I let go of the thoughts even though I “felt gay” in that moment and I quickly returned to my normal self. I distinctly remember just not thinking or ruminating on my thoughts, and it was like nothing happened afterwards. I guess because this was before ocd took hold it was easier to do that or I was not thinking about it and I just did it. Anyway so now what I’ve noticed I’m doing this a lot lately: I sit with the thoughts wait for the anxiety to pass and then I get to a point where I feel anxiety about no anxiety. I get the “omg you’re gay now” thought then I feel anxious about the actual thoughts again. It’s a cycle that never ends, and it’s exhausting because when I’m not anxious and not reacting to the thoughts I get a sense of clarity for a moment and I don’t feel anything towards women. Just admiration, or admiration with some anxiety which COULD confuse me if i try to analyze it if anyone understands? So if you have anxiety you could question if that means attraction or not etc. And then I get a thought that says “what if it’s not admiration and you’re in denial because hello you’re not reacting to the thoughts so clearly you’re gay” and then I don’t react right away but then the thought is still there and it bothers me so much that it’s still there so that’s what ends up setting me off and I feel like I’m back to square one. Any tips or like things to say to the thoughts when I feel like I might spiral again? My anxiety is nowhere near where it used to be 3 weeks ago when I was basically paralyzed, but it’s still there, and I’ve noticed when I try to analyze my anxiety or anything it does feel more real but it’s just so automatic (the analyzing) sometimes I don’t know how to control it and that’s what causes me to spiral. Really asking for help because I am truly just done with this. I am so frustrated and I hate constantly looking up things everyday wasting my time, feeling anxiety and depression, feeling unmotivated, not feeling like myself, not being able to watch movies like I used to or read books, not being able to go places with my friends normally, and I hate wishing to go back to who I was before this hit me I just want to BE that person again. I am so tired. So if there’s anything at all that has helped you in any way please please let me know. Any tips or suggestions that I should say or do when I feel like I’m about to spiral again? Specifically I mean. I know I need to just accept the thoughts no matter what but I’m asking if there’s anything specifically that helped. Like meditation? Or phrases that helped to say to the thoughts etc. I really want to get better.