I can't stop thinking about real events from almost 2 decades ago. The guilt and shame are driving me crazy...

Hope you are ok

@ashleyanne you too!

some things, we just can’t accept.

@MakeAChange that’s not true. unconditional self acceptance is a shift in perspective, takes lot of practice and hard work, but absoloutely is achievable.

@FindingAnswersAsking any tips on how to work on self acceptance?

@MakeAChange yes! for you two accept yourself you need to meet two requirements: to be alive, and to be human. if you meet those, you’re able to accept yourself. look for any shoulds or musts you are putting on yourself. there are irrational beliefs. “i must not have done that” would be one. challenge it. “why must i not have done that?” and then replace it with rational beliefs. “nowhere in the universe is it written that i must not do that! it’s a societal expectation set on me based on human concepts of good or bad. for my own wellbeing it’s preferable that i don’t do that, but even if i did i can still find a way to accept myself.” you can still dislike the action and evaluate it as good or bad without evaluating yourself as a HUMAN as good or bad. stealing is bad, but it doesn’t make you a bad human. it just makes you a human who stole. you can’t evaluate the entirety of your being based off something 20 years ago. accept yourself regardless. let’s say your son or daughter murdered someone. is it possible to strongly dislike what they did while still accepting them as a human? absolutely. that’s what i’m asking for you to do yourself. if you’re a reader, i recommend “how to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything” by albert ellis, he gets into it well. i hope that helps some.

@FindingAnswersAsking thank you so much for this! it’s amazing to find a person who thinks like you. it’s almost rare. i will listen to everything you’ve stated, and order the book! i’m terrified that i will never find such an accepting person like you. someone to stick by me through everything.

@FindingAnswersAsking Awesome thank you

@MakeAChange thank you for the kind words i really appreciate it. the book helped me out a lot, and i combined it with ERP (exposures). also, it takes time and practice, so don’t upset yourself if you don’t get it right away, nobody does! if there were a pill to cure ocd, i’d throw it far away from me. the stuff you’ll learn on your journey recovering will teach you things you wouldn’t have known unless you take that journey. and don’t worry about finding accepting people. there’s not many. but you don’t need them to accept you in order for you to accept yourself. you can still find a way to accept yourself even if everyone around you didn’t, even if it’s tough. if you’re interested in a reading list, i’ve read and am still reading these books: “how to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable” by albert ellis “self-help for your nerves” by dr claire weekes “the myth of self esteem” by albert ellis” “man’s search for meaning” by viktor E frankie and finally “at least a life” by paul david. they’re not all “ocd” books but damn if they don’t help! and you may be familiar with CBT if you’ve got ocd. albert ellis is the founder of CBT, so this is straight from the guy who came up with it. feel free to ask any questions you’ve got, and i hope this is a turning point in your recovery, because recovery absoloutely is possible. even now i have occasional ocd flare ups, but i understand how to work with them and they’re not nearly or even close to how i was before. best of luck :)

@ashleyanne of course!! glad i could help :)