Uhhh is it possible to be aroused by someone while having no desire to actually have sex with them or not even like their body? Fuck me because I get physically turned on by guys even though I can't imagine sex with them not being traumatic and only want it when I'm extremely mentally unwell as a form of self harm and punishment...

yeah same! i get it. i like seeing it, i mean i don’t watch it anymore but it is hot and arousing i just don’t think i want to have sex with a girl but what if i do????

@holley I don’t watch it anymore either, but just know I’ve explored my sexuality as well. I fell in love with a woman I met, but we broke it off. I just wasn’t physically attracted to her! Emotionally I really loved her, but I could never get intimate with her. I accepted I was Bisexual when I was 15, but being in that relationship made me realize I wasn’t. I like men.

@We Will Prevail? yeah!! i though i fell in love with this one girl, but it wasn’t love! it was a deep emotional thing and not really sexual i did kiss her but like i was so hesitant to yk?

@We Will Prevail? i would always talk about like having sex and stuff with her but never did it

@holley See and that just proves you weren’t sexually attracted to women! Like the woman I loved, I thought she was gorgeous, but I couldn’t bring myself to want to be intimate with her.

@We Will Prevail? but i would always talk sexually with her but never did anything... doesn’t that prove i’m gay????

@holley You can talk sexually with anyone, that doesn’t make you gay! If you were for example gay, you wouldn’t even be questioning it. You’d feel happy thinking about engaging in intimacy with a girl! I used to think that until I realized sure maybe I’ll fantasize about it sometimes but doesn’t mean it’s something I would necessarily want to go through with.

@We Will Prevail? it seems we literally went through some of the same things!!! do you want my snap? literally i don’t know anyone that has went through the stuff that i have because no one understands!!

@holley I don’t really use Snap! But I’m here if you need to talk about stuff! We can start a different thread if you’d like. If only this app had DMs

I'm a lesbian with straight/bi OCD. Like I get physical reactions if i picture something out but it's so fucking gross to me, like it would be an enormous emotional sacrifice that goes against what I want and what makes me truly happy. Like I can't even imagine loving sex with a man, it just always is violent, rapey and traumatizing. It's far from pleasurable. With women sex is literally the best thing in the world for me.

@ｆｅｎｎａ I apologize for misgendering you! I should’ve clicked on your profile! I can totally see why that would be scary! But if it’s bothering you just know it’s not what you truly want. Sometimes our brains like to imagine the worst things but that is not who we are. You know in your core you’re Lesbian and that should be all that matters. I know it’s super hard to think that way, but everytime you get those thoughts try to just brush them off and not interact with them. Because you know who you are ? those traumatic thoughts have nothing to do with what you truly want

@We Will Prevail? That is fine, do not worry. I do feel like like deep down even though my OCD ducks with me, I feel like my reality, the factual reality is that I'm gay. And I love it. Thank you for the kind words.

@We Will Prevail? okay sure!!

@We Will Prevail? can you tell me about your hocd story and sexuality?? our stories are so similar. but only if you feel comfortable with sharing!

See I’ve always been aroused or turned on by lesbian porn or fantasy, so by this it makes it easier for me to think that I could do it in real life. Do I want to? No, not really. But because HOCD makes me think that I do want to do it or always have because I’ve always been aroused by it. I know for sure I don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman and never have. But then again HOCD attacks that too! Lol

@Corie me too!! i’ve always been aroused by it too.

@Corie Awh man. I personally never want to ever have sex with a man and their bodies are repulsive to me but I dunno why I get turned on by them when I didnt even used to, maybe it's the OCD trained response that is supposed to throw me off :///