When I was a kid I would get physically and emotionally abuse by my sister after school. I'm 20 years just told my mom accidentally and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I'm now realized how much it really affected me. That same little girl who was scared back then is the same voice as my OCD... Its like my brain forgot a lot of the memories that happened during the abuse. But I can tell you the address to the apartment each room were it was . the apartment was like a maze. I can tell you where the kitchen was and how it looked. I remember the kitchen because the front door was there I ran to it a lot but didn't seem to make it. But somehow I keep thinking and feeIing I was just too sensitive and it really wasn't that bad. I'm being over dramatic and I feel guilty and God doesn't want me to talk about it and he's mad at me for mentioning it. I just don't understand. I feel so broken and conflicted...

I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser

Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.

i just thought about something that happened between me,my sister, and brother when we were younger and im pretty sure it was COCSA and im getting scared thinking about it. I’m the oldest and the biggest age gap is three years so we’re all fairly close in age and this happened when i was around maybe 8 and im not going to discuss too many details here because im scared but im just thinking about so many things from my childhood that could be signs i couldve been SA’d and its making me think what if i was and i dont remember and thats why that situation happened and the other ones im thinking about ? cause there are a couple situations im thinking about but i dont even know if theyre real. the only one i know is real is the one where i think i was apart of COCSA because i distinctly remember my siblings and i joking about it some time after it happened a few times. im scared of what my siblings might think of me if they remember it now after its been so long. like do they think im disgusting? i dont even remember how the event had started or if i was the one who made the suggestion but i just remember laughing when it was being done. honestly idek if it could be considered COCSA and im scared to talk to anyone about it in too much detail. this is really scary posting this i feel like im in trouble or something but idk i just need to vent. last post for now i just keep thinking too much today.