- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, i did too and it’s really hard when your mum doesn’t believe you...i can really empathise with that too. with abuse it’s really common to feel the way you are feeling now but i promise you no, you are not too sensitive - if it feels/felt bad, it WAS bad (please try and remember that if you can!) what you are describing is very similar to how i feel but i can promise you now, you are not being dramatic. is there anyone such as a therapist you can talk to about it? it’s really important to be able to address it and talk about it. you have every right to talk about it and you shoukd in no way have to hide it and suppress it. i’m always here if you’d like to talk about it.
- Date posted
- 4y
God is never mad at you. Period. Full stop. God loves you with his entire ENTIREEE heart. It hurts him to see you in pain, but he only lets you experience the pain because he wants you to run to him. Run to the father! The lies you are hearing are fully from the devil. The devil is having the time of his life when he even enflicts the slightest discomfort into your life.. so to see what he’s done.. to see he’s gotten into your head.. he’s having a mega party!! He’s like “oh heck yeaaa success!!! Woop woop!” DONT LET HIM PARTY!! RUN TO THE FATHER. God can’t get mad at you, and it’s NEVER EVER too late to go to him
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand that a lot, I have small, precise and clear memories of a lot of my trauma but it's always stuff around the edges like remembering an exact sensation or the way the room looked or the weather, but the actual traumatic content is fuzzy and confusing. It's actually led me to doubt a lot that's happened, AND has made it a lot harder to cope with actual false memory other OCDs which started with a scary idea that something happened but were fuzzy. It's a horrible feeling to not be able to rely on your brain. I've also had the exact EXACT same thoughts that I'm being overdramatic and making it worse than it is and it's my problem to get over, was probably half my fault anyway etc. The guilt is horrible, mine wasn't that God didn't want me to talk about it, it was that I believe the abuser is a nice person and therefore it's a HORRIBLE thing to do to talk about it. I've lived with horrible churning regret for ever talking about it...... Yet that's SO unfair on me. I'm not responsible for making sure their life is good whatsoever, they've sure never shown me that courtesy, but the feeling that you're basically making it up that it was at all bad and you must be a selfish vindictive person is just the worst thing I've ever felt. When somebody accused me of making it up because the abuser 'is such a nice person' it was a whole new trauma in itself, one of the worst things I've ever experienced, it just seemed to confirm all my fears, I felt like the worst person ever even though I knew what had happened because the self doubt and self blame and guilt were so extremely strong. I've actually never really heard anyone else describe the same experience (but I've heard that it's common) so I'm really happy to have read this and you're definitely not alone. Try to hang in there and get trauma therapy ASAP, that's what I really wish I had done a long time ago but I'm only just getting it now and been expressing the exact same stuff with my therapist and it's really painful but I think it will help in the long run. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
Honestly I really fucked myself a lot by forcing myself to remember it all the time to try to prove the guilt feelings wrong- definitely try not to do that. It's really tempting to want to and try to fill in the blanks and reassure yourself and get confidence, but for me it's only ever made it worse. I only started having any flashbacks after I started doing that and I wasn't equipped to deal with it at all.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Last year I used and app to talk about my POCD and people called me a pedo and told me to kill myself. It has been months and I had even forgotten about it, but I talked about my mom yesterday and I feel a sense of doom now. Like, I could have lived my life normally, but this happened. I feel overhelmed, and don't know exactly what to do, cuz when I stop to think about it, it is something awful, but I spend months just not caring, I don't know what to do, it was not even close to the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but it still feels terrible, it keeps echoing in my mind, and It won't go away, and yes I know it is OCD, I just want to let It go. And I lied somethings to my mom cuz if I told the whole truth she would be even more heartbroken (I just didn't say what app it was and I said it was recently, and not months ago) And I feel bad, but now I can't go back, but if I told her the whole truth, she would've just broke down. Basically she thinks it was yesterday and in another app, and I told her I just commented on something. But I feel so bad! I don't want to tell the truth to her, but also, I don't know...
- Date posted
- 23w
Im 21 years old, I had ocd seen I was 14 when it started it stopped me from telling anyone I have it. It was really bad at the time and I had no clue how to deal with it I even was able to kill myself at one point but decided to have hope it would get better. In time it did got better but I had no clue what was wrong with me and I didn't want to tell anyone. Until this year I finally found out what it was and my ocd started getting bad again but I'm doing better now. Is been 7 years but I really want my mom to know what I been through but I feel like if I tell her it hurt her and I feel bad for not telling her when it started. I just need same help getting the courage to tell her.
- Date posted
- 20w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
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