- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, i did too and it’s really hard when your mum doesn’t believe you...i can really empathise with that too. with abuse it’s really common to feel the way you are feeling now but i promise you no, you are not too sensitive - if it feels/felt bad, it WAS bad (please try and remember that if you can!) what you are describing is very similar to how i feel but i can promise you now, you are not being dramatic. is there anyone such as a therapist you can talk to about it? it’s really important to be able to address it and talk about it. you have every right to talk about it and you shoukd in no way have to hide it and suppress it. i’m always here if you’d like to talk about it.
- Date posted
- 5y
God is never mad at you. Period. Full stop. God loves you with his entire ENTIREEE heart. It hurts him to see you in pain, but he only lets you experience the pain because he wants you to run to him. Run to the father! The lies you are hearing are fully from the devil. The devil is having the time of his life when he even enflicts the slightest discomfort into your life.. so to see what he’s done.. to see he’s gotten into your head.. he’s having a mega party!! He’s like “oh heck yeaaa success!!! Woop woop!” DONT LET HIM PARTY!! RUN TO THE FATHER. God can’t get mad at you, and it’s NEVER EVER too late to go to him
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand that a lot, I have small, precise and clear memories of a lot of my trauma but it's always stuff around the edges like remembering an exact sensation or the way the room looked or the weather, but the actual traumatic content is fuzzy and confusing. It's actually led me to doubt a lot that's happened, AND has made it a lot harder to cope with actual false memory other OCDs which started with a scary idea that something happened but were fuzzy. It's a horrible feeling to not be able to rely on your brain. I've also had the exact EXACT same thoughts that I'm being overdramatic and making it worse than it is and it's my problem to get over, was probably half my fault anyway etc. The guilt is horrible, mine wasn't that God didn't want me to talk about it, it was that I believe the abuser is a nice person and therefore it's a HORRIBLE thing to do to talk about it. I've lived with horrible churning regret for ever talking about it...... Yet that's SO unfair on me. I'm not responsible for making sure their life is good whatsoever, they've sure never shown me that courtesy, but the feeling that you're basically making it up that it was at all bad and you must be a selfish vindictive person is just the worst thing I've ever felt. When somebody accused me of making it up because the abuser 'is such a nice person' it was a whole new trauma in itself, one of the worst things I've ever experienced, it just seemed to confirm all my fears, I felt like the worst person ever even though I knew what had happened because the self doubt and self blame and guilt were so extremely strong. I've actually never really heard anyone else describe the same experience (but I've heard that it's common) so I'm really happy to have read this and you're definitely not alone. Try to hang in there and get trauma therapy ASAP, that's what I really wish I had done a long time ago but I'm only just getting it now and been expressing the exact same stuff with my therapist and it's really painful but I think it will help in the long run. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly I really fucked myself a lot by forcing myself to remember it all the time to try to prove the guilt feelings wrong- definitely try not to do that. It's really tempting to want to and try to fill in the blanks and reassure yourself and get confidence, but for me it's only ever made it worse. I only started having any flashbacks after I started doing that and I wasn't equipped to deal with it at all.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
What should I do? I already talked to my mom and we worked it out, but OCD won't leave it alone. Here is the situation: OCD is ruining my relationship with my family. Along with my porn addiction, I can't see innocent interactions without malice or wondering if it's appropriate. My mom and sister always had this game of slapping each other's butts, and I always found it funny, but these days I have been feeling uncomfortable about it and asked them to stop. My OCD is trying to convince me that my mom has said me, because one time she said that if she were a boy, she would date me and one time she just blurted out "marry me" I told her I hated that, she apologized and said she didn't mean it and never did it again. A lot of the things she said these days I wonder if they're appropriate, like commenting on my body, it was things like "Your butt is smaller", because I lost a lot of weight. And these days she was talking to my sister and she said that her breasts are growing and my sister was like "I know😝😝" and she poked the side of her breasts and they just laughed. I asked them about it and my sister says that she sees no problem at all. I remember that when I started puberty, my mom would ask to touch my breasts, she never actually touched, but she was afraid cuz when she was in puberty she said her breasts hurt a lot, and she was always like "You are growing so much, they are cute." And I would get sad cuz mine's weren't big as hers. I am spiraling and my mom is the most sweet person in the world, she supports me in EVERYTHING and has always taught me to set boundaries and stand up for myself, she always respected my boundaries and talked to me about delicate things and I always felt comfortable to walk around naked or ask her ANYTHING. But remembering these things are making me question her behavior, when I know she did not mean harm and I notice that 89% of every mom I met, are like her, she is probably like that because that's how she was created, and Honestly, if she did not mean any harm then everything is fine. As I said I didn't felt uncomfortable, but OCD is like "You should feel uncomfortable because that is inappropriate behavior." It's just that I didn't care for those things I even once asked to touch my mother's breasts when I was younger cuz hers were so different and I was like "What?!?!? why are we different?" and she was like "ok" and I stopped to think that I literally used to breastfeed on them and I was " 😮😮" like, I feel bad nowdays but I was curious, and my mom just said "It's okay, but If you did it out of malice then it would be wrong and I would be uncomfy." Now OCD is making me not want to be near my mom when she literally respects my boundaries, I said I didn't want her to do these things again and she agreed without even a second thought.
- Date posted
- 22w
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser
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