- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I know how you feel. I remember hearing that most pedophiles despise their thoughts and never mean to hurt anyone, and since I heard that I’ve been so worried I’m as bad as that. It made me really concerned that I felt bad for pedophiles, and then I became concerned about my morals and what if I didn’t find things wrong enough. As scary as it is, it’s just another OCD rabbit hole to keep you worried. Sitting with the uncertainty that maybe you are a bad person, maybe you’re not, is so hard but it’s where the progress comes! Don’t fall down the rabbit hole ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I get what you mean, I wish I could do the maybe maybe not thing but I'm terrified of the answer
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 I understand how you feel. But that fear of accepting true unknown is why this is bothering you so much ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@199903 You're right :( it really does terrify me
- Date posted
- 5y
This is one person’s opinion on the internet and likely didn’t take into account the possibility of someone with harm ocd coming across it. Was Hitler just a human like all of us? Yes, he was. I think the person writing that wanted people to recognize that so we can recognize that the mechanisms that put his evil in power could happen anywhere, and we need to be vigilant not to contribute to a society where that’s ok. Hitler was human, yes. We’re all capable of great good and great evil. We could spend hours discussing the nature of humanity and hitler’s humanity but what you need to know is this: None of this changes the fact that ruminating about it is ocd. And you need to treat these ruminations like ocd. Look at the thoughts and say “Ok thought, I see you,” and sit with the discomfort. If you need help, doing that, have you ever tried the new SOS feature on this app?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thing is I don't want to becable of horrible acts like that. I see what you mean tho. Also I tired SOS but idk it doesn't seem to help....maybe it takes a few times
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 Sometimes it isn’t about feeling better right away but allowing yourself to sit with the discomfort, and know that discomfort will go away eventually without compulsions. What kind of compulsions do you usually do when you have these intrusive thoughts?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Nikki1809 I tend to have a lot of mental ones. I question and debate the thoughts, I ask for reassurance/try to reassure myself, a lot of mental compulsions
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 Ok. Try not to do those things. Just do whatever you normally would be doing right now if the thoughts weren’t there. If the thoughts show up, don’t push them away, just say “hi thought,” and then keep doing what your doing.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 I have basically the exact same compulsions for my obsessions. I felt so anxious and so trapped and was convinced I was a terrible person. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to let the thoughts be without reacting to them, but it does get easier little by little!
- Date posted
- 5y
@199903 Thank you guys,I'm definitely going to work on it♥️ I really am grateful for both of you commenting and sharing your advice :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 You’re welcome. I’m happy to talk more if you need some more help. It’s definitely worth talking about this with a professional though since they’ll have good advice on how to tackle this with ERP! With time, this becomes just another thought that doesn’t mean much to you. You can do it!!
- Date posted
- 5y
@199903 ^^seconding this. And I’m glad if I could help. :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Nikki1809 Thank you you guys are amazing ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m scared I keep thinking this over and over that I’m gunna hire a hitman on my brother what if I do like I’m a bad person how can I be normal with him this is probably my worst harm thought and it feels like I truly will do it I’m just “ holding back” :(
- Date posted
- 25w
Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(
- Date posted
- 24w
I can be way too hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest slip up in regards to OCD. Sometimes it can feel like I'm gaslighting myself on what was "so blatantly and obviously a moral atrocity in thought and intent", when 95% of the time I'm not even sure what my own intent with dealing with these thoughts is or why I do what I do. It makes me feel like some shameless beast for "daring to even entertain the thought of something so VILE!!!" When I just get so confused and scared on moral issues, like my mind is pulled down a rabbit hole I can't escape until the tricks are done on me and it's too late, i've accepted such ideas I hate until that hate and trying to not give in convince me "it might not be that bad". It feels like anything, even the most mundane things can trigger this. This cycle happens mainly because I feel like there's "no way to escape committing more 'attrocities' in thought or compulsion anyway"...and these cycles become the basis for more of these incidents. there a way to stop this? There have been multiple times where I called myself the R word, and even knowing it's a slur I still called myself that because "I'm nothing if not deserving of such scorn". Any attempt to stop the madness makes it worse and it's like all this I talked about is so convincing I dare not question it until after the fact. Please help.
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