Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
AruphabetoAruphabeto
- Date posted
- 5y
About groinals response, just say to yourself "okay", don't react to. About your loss of attraction I cannot help, I'm in the same case.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel like I’m hypervigilant and now I’m public always looking at dudes instead of girls and it freaks me out cuz I don’t want this please help
JugheadJughead
- Date posted
- 5y
@Anonymous I felt this way in the very beginning. I would go to a restaurant and have to rate in my head every single guy and girl that would walk in. This of course was excruciating because I would notice everyone and it made me feel more insecure, “your eyes are catching every dude, you must be gay”. This would also happen when my Hocd kicks up or I’m in the horrible cycle. My hyper vigilance decreased and I notice girls more but the groinals still occur, especially if I see an attractive dude on Instagram for example. The groinals are very alarming but I try my best to not put much weight on it, although sometimes I can’t and think it’s a lie we tell ourselves. I’ve started feeling better after 5 months of torture, mostly due to ERP and ACT, part of CBT. Currently taking it a day at a time.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Jughead I literally just described everything I do to T do u have any advice or suggestions??
JugheadJughead
- Date posted
- 5y
@Anonymous It’s a shitty illness and I’m still batteling with it. I’m having better days now but definitely not where I want to be. And I still have to remind myself that I may never know what my sexuality is.... The two biggest things I’ve done is take up running on a consistent basis, 3 miles a day every other day. Gets my brain going and balances out my chemicals. I also stopped watching porn and masturbating. Porn is horrible and I believe had/has a big impact on my sexual life (in a negative way, which is probably why I’m suffering with this now). I’m working on rewiring myself by not watching it, it’s a false reality. If you are not seeing a licensed therapist I suggest you do so as well.
JugheadJughead
- Date posted
- 5y
@Jughead Obviously I’ve also done therapy, ERP, CBT, and acceptance and commitment therapy. I’ve noticed the big leap when I would just say to myself, “sure, I’m gay and I’m fine with it” or “I like being gay”. For a while I would get intrusive images of myself living a gay lifestyle for example going on dates with guys, gay parties, gay clubs, gay boyfriend, etc. and they didn’t give me much anxiety. I say they were intrusive because I just didn’t see myself living this way. Now I don’t really get them, the biggest hurdle is groinals and some compulsions.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Jughead I completely agree with this that the hurdle is the groinal responses for sure and I feel like I’ve lost a lot of my attraction to women as well which scares me a lot. But all the time these thoughts and groinal responses must be true and mean something. So idk what to do sometimes I just want my life back and my attraction back but I have been running too and it helps
JugheadJughead
- Date posted
- 5y
I can’t tell you what they mean, they may have a meaning or they may not. That’s the uncertainty of living with it. Take them as they come, easier said then done but that’s how I’m trying to deal with it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Any words about losing your attraction to girls at all?
JugheadJughead
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s something I’ve seen mentioned a lot in this sub. There is definitely the sense of “lost attraction” but I’m not sure if it’s really the case or just the HOCD in its peak. When you have anxiety and stress, you have no desire to do anything and sex is one of them. I believe that the constant anxiety, fear, stress, ruminations, ups and downs, have a great deal of impact on our bodies and brain. Our attraction being one of them. I feel like I’ve gotten “my attraction back” but I believe that is from not watching porn and no longer masturbating. That being said, the “loss of attraction” is definitely a progress deliminator.
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