tatianasf.94
- Date posted
- 5y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you doing ERP with an OCD Specialist or have you done it with them in the past? Or are you doing this entirely on your own? Our thoughts will change as we go through recovery. OCD is basically “on the run” when the old ideas it used to be able to scare you with are no longer working, so it comes up with new things that you then have to treat exactly the same way. Also, how long have you need doing ERP and how often? Many people expect results much faster than is realistic. It took a long time for your brain to get wired this way. And it will take a while to rewire it another way. But it does happen. We have brain scans that show us ERP really does help make the brain perform in a much healthier way to stress. Your life is not ruined forever! And that’s quite a catastrophic thought to entertain. Right now, you are suffering. And it is awful. And it’s okay to hate it and feel depressed, angry, sad, frustrated, etc., but chances are you’ve been through difficult parts of life before that you thoughts wouldn’t end, and they did. This can and will too. You may always have OCD but with the right treatment many people are able to live happy productive lives regardless or have it go entirely into remission for long periods or permanently.
tatianasf.94tatianasf.94
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m with a therapist. She specializes in CBT, but there’s no one who knows about ERP in my country. I started doing it by myself and it has helped me a lot (I was unable to function, I couldn’t eat or sleep, I wasn’t being able to work and was afraid of being by myself cause I was terrible scared I would act on my thoughts). I got triggered three months ago and I started ERP one month ago. But right now I’m just scared I enjoy my thoughts even if I know I’ll never act on them. And I’m scared that if I stop thinking about the thoughts, then it’s because I got used to them and im not bothered by them anymore. I don’t even know if I’m distressed. I just feel sad and tired. I don’t feel like myself and I’ve never had OCD for such a long time. The longest episode I’ve had lasted about one month. It’s so hard to forgive myself for even thinking it and at the same time I feel like they are “normal” because I’ve been having them for such a long tim
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s okay to get used to the thoughts and not be bothered by them. In fact, if you can allow for that to happen and treat them more casually, they’ll eventually drop off on their own. When they come up: shrug them off! Eh, who cares, just another weird thought. That’s ocd for ya. I know this is sad and distressing. Ruminating about that distress can be its own kind of fuel for the obsession though. It’s awesome that your OCD obsessions generally only last a month. Be thankful for that! I’ve had themes last years. So when I say I get how tiring it can be, you know I mean it. OCD for us IS normal. And that’s okay. Spend less time wishing it away and more time accepting that this is just a normal thing for us and okay. I think a little self compassion and understanding and self forgiveness could go a long way here. It’s gotten better before and it will again. You’re doing all the right things here and with consistency you’ll keep getting better.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
@pureolife Also keep in mind: most people need 3-6 months of ERP to start seeing a noticeable difference. And full recovery can take a bit longer. But that all depends on how long you’ve had your theme and how severe your ocd is in the first place. After one month, you’re just getting started. And you’ve already seen tremendous results. You’ve got this.
tatianasf.94tatianasf.94
- Date posted
- 5y
@pureolife Thanks for that. It’s hard because I feel like I was doing so much better and then all of a sudden a new obsession pops up and it feels so real. It bothers me that everyone says that they know OCD thoughts are not real, but if I was 100% sure that my thoughts are not real they would not distress me. It makes me think I don’t have OCD and I’m actually everything I fear I am. I’ll try to shrug them off, even if it’s really hard, because I feel that, everytime they show up, I have to check that they are not true by reviewing how I feel about them. This checking exercise almost never works and it only makes me sink deeper into distress. But I know it’s a compulsion and I must stop doing it. But it’s hard, cause I don’t want to accept those thoughts as my reality (even though I know that’s not what ERP does)
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
@tatianasf.94 I have never been 100% sure my OCD thoughts aren’t real. And my OCD sometimes makes me doubt if I even have OCD. But I’ve learned enough to understand that those are actually universal thoughts and fears about OCD, this is the “doubting disease” after all. The checking you’re describing is a compulsion, and all it does is feed your obsession. Every time you check you’re not actually making yourself more sure, you’re making yourself less. And that right there: intrusion, compulsion, repeat, is the basic framework of OCD. I do my best to stand back and see that every time I’m confused. If it looks like ocd and acts like ocd, it’s ocd.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond