I'm obsessed with the idea of going to hell after death because I might have sold my soul to the devil. I've seen a therapist and in order to put myself in an ERP situation I have actually said out loud I was selling my soul for a glass of water (the point being of putting myself in an uncertainty provoking situation, instead of saying I was selling it for a billion dollars for example, which would provide reassurance as long as I'd not get the money). And so, for the last two months, I've been haunted by the fear of going to hell after death because of this silly phrase I've pronounced. It feels awful and I am scared I'll never escape this fear ???

That is funny lol

@hateocd123 Yep, the absurdity of OCD. I kept searching for hours for testimonials online coming from people who signed a contract with the devil to get something specific. And obviously I have found many (people asked for the affection of a girl and got it, for example). So the doubt has settled in. My brain goes "what if it's true? What if all of this is possible? What if I am doomed for eternity?" ?

Oh wow, I am glad you've got out of that situation anyway. But being locked for your prayers? That indeed sounds extremely abusive...

@xandi She used to dump my desk on the floor, scream in my face, call me a cry baby, encourage other students to bully me, put me in a dark closet, if she brought any treats to class I wasn't allowed to have any. She used to have a box for this thing called "gotchas" where students could anonymously write a note about another student being helpful attached with a starburst candy. I never got one once, even though I had friends who I knew were putting them in for me, which means she was taking the ones for me out of the box. I had a crush on one of my class mates and told him on a field trip. For some reason he told the teacher. She sat the whole class down and said that it was inappropriate for me to have and express those kinds of feelings at my age. All I did was say I liked him. A student called me a fat ass on a separate occasion and I cried. The teacher asked why I was crying and when I told her she called me a tattle-tale. That was just some of the shit she put me through. All because I wasn't able to focus in class due to severe anxiety and compulsions, I also have what used to be classified as Aspergers. I broke down and told my mom what was going on. She tried to get the bitch fired, but the school admin did everything to protect her. My brother used to play around with a recorder and he'd come to meetings with my mom sometimes. There was a meeting she had with my teacher alone, my brother recorded it without my mother or the teacher's knowledge. He did it again at a meeting with my mom, administration and the teacher. He caught her lying about some of the abuse comparing the two separate recordings. We couldn't do anything legally with the recording though because in my state it was legal to record a person without their knowledge.

@hateocd123 Same here, in France. You cannot use a recording of a person unless she authorises it. But oh my... What a mentally disturbed person that teacher was.

@xandi Yes, extremely :/

@hateocd123 I'm so sorry you went through that

@Makki23 Thank you for the support.