letsbeatocd
- Date posted
- 5y
gingernuttergingernutter
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m like that! Right now my ocd is saying that I must be gay because I like being different (I have red hair, blue eyes and I’m a left hander so I’m a pretty rare person and I love that) and it’s trying to tell me that maybe I’ve always been gay but because being straight is the norm then I just never thought about it before and just liked boys because ‘that’s what I’m meant to do’ despite never having seen a problem with gay people myself, supporting LGBT and literally having no reason to ignore or suppress my sexuality if I was gay. I literally had a crush on a boy when I was 3 years old in nursery and I used to make him lie down so I could snuggle up to him and pretend he was my boyfriend, I’ve been straight since infancy so why does it want to tell me I wasn’t, especially when you’re that young and you just like who you like ?? And when I’m able to convince myself of my heterosexuality and calm down, it’s like “fine, but what if you end up falling in love with a girl or want to date a girl later in life?” And I’m like bitch please no, I don’t want to live in fear of all my friends, it’s already trying to make me think I fancy one of my closest friends just because it can ?? it’s doing my head in, I just want to chill with my boyfriend and be happy
san🌻san🌻
- Date posted
- 5y
Omgg freaking same!!! As a 5 year old I had a crush on a TV actor and slowly I developed feelings for my guy bff and I lived him with everything!!! I've been straight even before I knew there was something like bf's and then during my first year of puberty I was so obsessed with guys like omll. I'm 14 currently and I feel like I'm turning ugh. I just want to be with my bf without feeling like I'm forcing or repressing my true feelings :(
gingernuttergingernutter
- Date posted
- 5y
@sanzida? I never even questioned my sexuality until I was 15 and this all started. Before HOCD got bad the first time, I’d only crushed on guys, I’d even thrown up and cried all night when the guy I fancied so much got into a relationship, that’s how much I loved boys ? I managed to control my thoughts after a year and I’ve been relatively okay for the past few years, going almost back to the way I was before HOCD kicked in, I was crushing on guys, having my first relationships etc and brushing off the occasional HOCD thought because they still stuck around when I’d get a trigger (every one of my previous themes still have lingering triggers that I have to avoid, such as watching scary films or touching soil without washing my hands afterwards). I’m now 20 and it’s all just come flying back after I had a bad trigger. I’m in a relationship with the most amazing man and it’s literally wrecking my brain because I just want to be happy with him yet this is just messing around with me
san🌻san🌻
- Date posted
- 5y
@gingernutter I can relate oml!! I feel so gay like how did I turn?? I was straight as an infant but now I'm L... I really can believe it
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
We don't have a crystal ball. We can't know the future. You're prioritizing the risk of a potential but unlikely future problem over the current actual harm done to you and your loved ones by a big problem you have right now
san🌻san🌻
- Date posted
- 5y
Omgg that's my fear too ???
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