My parents don’t take my mental health seriously. Sometimes I’ve even yelled out that I have suicidal thoughts (sometimes I do have them but sometimes it’s to get their attention) and they literally don’t care or say “ok do it then what are we gonna do, we have our own problems”. I have a therapist, but it’s just messed up how parents don’t take this stuff seriously.

Thank you ❤️ They’ve dealt with my OCD for 13 years and never truly understood it. My dad is a narcissist and will trigger me off on purpose if pissed off enough and my mom just has no filter and doesn’t like being told how to talk (they’ve both from Brooklyn so they have that blunt attitude). I get the old school way is tough love and to just snap out of it but i can’t just snap out of it. My mom literally says if I want to kill myself there is nothing that she can do. But in general she would die if she lost me or anything happened to me. It’s like she thinks I’m joking.

@Anxiousgirl That’s terrible that he tries to trigger you on purpose. If you don’t mind me asking, have you tried talking to any therapists or trusted friends about this? It doesn’t sound like you have a very good support system at home... Even if it is “tough love” to them, it’s clearly having a negative effect on you. Having someone else to talk to in person could be very helpful.♥️

@bellabean Yeah I had an ocd specialist for years and she told me to tell myself “my father is a very sick man” and realize how toxic my mother is. My therapist now says the same thing. I’m 27 now so as an adult they don’t treat me the same as when I was a kid. I rebelled a lot and got myself into trouble and it’s like conditional love. My mom loved me way too much and would be sheltering and overbearing (causing me to rebel). My ocd compulsion is partly confessing to her for relief because she created such a codependent enmeshed relationship with no boundaries. I get angry about the chain of events of me getting in trouble and put the cause on her parenting which causes a lot of resentment. So there are times I have angry outbursts at my mom and call her names. This in turn probably caused her to resent me. I just want to move out but I haven’t saved up enough now and now we are in a pandemic. My job is not certain.

With all that we have been through you will certainly be a great mother to your kids! I’m sorry you also suffer with these kind of parents. I think parents only know what they know and project that onto us. My dad had an abusive father and he was the black sheep sibling so he turned into a narcissist and doesn’t know how to be a father. My mom has her own mental health issues that she will never admit to and she says she’s perfect (maybe this is another narcissist, my luck ?) I get those same lines from my parents. That I’m dramatic and I need to stop worrying and people have gone through worse. My mom knows about all my sexual assault experiences and she will bring up how her friend was gang banged in a car and thrown out and she didn’t report anything and just moved on with her life. I’m like wtf?! I also confess to my mom for reassurance since she created a codependent relationship with me with no boundaries. I hate it. She will give me the reassurance knowing this feeds the ocd but I think she just doesn’t wanna deal with me and doesn’t want me upset. I remember having an ocd relapse when I went away to college and she was so annoyed with me. Instead of letting me get proper help she threatened to pull me out of school (she was paying for it) and would just tell me to snap out of it, causing me extra panic attacks and eventually led me to party really hard in college and get myself into trouble.

@Anxiousgirl Oh my goodness I know! A few weeks ago my mother said I'm too dramatic and sensitive. She told me that maybe she doesnt worry also much as me because she was beaten as a child and it numbed her. She told me that maybe she should have beaten me as a child. I was like "what?? Your parents are not the bar to set the standard at!" Its soooooo hard not to take our mothers seriously, or even to believe they could be wrong or possibly bad for us. They are the first and often only source of protection as we grow up. They are the first and strongest bond of trust. So it's really hard to hear those things, like in your examples as well, and be like "welp, that's mom for you...what a silly goose....onto the next I suppose". I hate even putting that kind of pressure on my mom to be honest. She's a human being and as much as it's just innate that she's who I trust most in the world, just simply based on childhood development alone, I need to remember she's an imperfect human being. And where I spend a lot of time in reflection and thinking about what I say to people, that's not her. I worked in social work for a time and now I work in post-secondary education and im a professional who considers everything I say and do. She did not love that life. She was a house wife and says whatever the hell comes to her mind without filter. She's a human. This morning she started on with me about covid numbers (I really cant talk much a out covid without getting sensitive) and I was just being very surface level, agreeable, not saying much at all. She wound up twisting everything I was saying (which wasn't much as I was trying not to talk about it) and getting mad at me somehow?? I just had to put my foot down and say I wasnt talking about it and told her to have a good day. Which was really hard too. We also innately want to please our parents. I've actually not spent much time studying the child-parent relationship but I bet its WILD. I'm sorry your mum downplays your experiences. I'm really certain that woman did NOT just get one with her life and struggled immensely with it. She likely just didnt talk about it or have the supports or both.