please help. This is so urgent dunno what to do it’s every thought hi! so my friend has ocd (he thinks, never been diagnosed). He has recently told me about this and I want to do something to help him. He keeps thinking about something he might have/ might not have done in the past and hes worried he will go to jail in the future for it. He cannot do anything now because he’s obsessed with the thought of “why should he be happy if he’s just going to go to jail” he told me basically he cannot watch any YouTube anymore, hang out with friends, do well in classes because he’s like “what’s the point if he’s just going to end up in jail and lose all of his friends anyway” can someone point me in the right direction to how I can help him??? Backstory: he was involved in findom which is where men feel submissive and decide to give money to others in return to be hurt, humiliated, blackmailed..etc. he also sold lots of feet pics. He stopped doing this 3 months ago. He was worried at first about hurting them even tho they’re the ones that hurt themselves. Then he got worried about blackmailing even though it was consensual and they asked for it. He had recently gotten into the scary thing of like “omg what if I blackmailed and it was not consensual” or “what if I threatened someone and they didn’t want it” he’s been FLIPPING about this and can’t do anything with his life because he’s sooo flipping afraid. It’s gotten him to the point where he doesn’t wanna wake up :/. I’m gonna forward this link to him so please make responses OUT TO HIM. He doesn’t wanna post to reddit for private reasons. Thank you! Thank you!

He’s worried he’s gonna get reported if he writes them himself

@sunnydays1013 I appreciate that. It's a pretty common fear. You posting for him means that you're accommodating his OCD, which will make it worse. You're sending the message that the fear is realistic

@NOCD Advocate - Katie hi! I understand I’m the person w the ocd my friend gave me this acc and told me the same thing.

idk if he can do this because he feels like he really blackmailed people and posted peoples private things online with them wanting to and he’s really struggling he feels like he needs to turn himself in

@sunnydays1013 If he’s really feeling this bad about it he needs to see a professional who specializes in ocd treatment. Meanwhile there’s lots of sources about how to deal with ocd. Ali Graymond on YouTube is one. Maybe someone else can offer up books they found helpful. But at the end of the day, OCD treatment is about radical self acceptance and radical acceptance of uncertainty. I know he feels bad, and I know ocd is scary. But to change thoughts you first must change behaviors. That means acting as if he loves himself and has accepted his past and the uncertainty that comes with it, even if he doesn’t feel that way yet. Btw here’s another link I was gonna add to my post about real event ocd. https://themighty.com/2019/10/real-life-ocd-feel-guilty-past-events/

@Nikki1809 I’ve feels like he should turn himself tho for the things he did. The thing is tho he wasn’t worried about this till 2 weeks ago and he stopped doing it 3 months aho

@sunnydays1013 Ocd can come on suddenly in some cases, it doesn’t make it any less valid. My ocd came on one morning I just woke up having a panic attack and then I had ocd. One day I was agnostic, then bam! I had religious themed ocd. Besides if I understand correctly he was doing all this consentually so he didn’t really do anything wrong. He just wants to turn himself in for the possibility he might have. Even if someone did want to charge him, he thought he was doing it consensually, and that matters in a court of law. But the more you reassure him of this the more he’s going to depend on that reasurrence. It becomes like an addiction and it only feeds the ocd cycle. If he can’t function because of his fears then the best thing you can do is recommend he gets help.

@Nikki1809 he thinks he did it non consensually thought because he was use to doing it a lot

@sunnydays1013 Yes I get that. He’s worried about the possibility he did it non consensually. I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure what your looking for me to say. If he thinks he has ocd then ERP is the best treatment for ocd. Either way he seems to be in a lot of distress and I would suggest seeing a professional about it.

@Nikki1809 He KNOWS he has ocd

@sunnydays1013 Ok. ERP is still the best treatment. Please keep in mind I’m trying to help not hurt, but I would honestly much rather here his opinion about this than yours.

@Nikki1809 these are his opinions I’m forwarding all this to him and he’s telling me what to say haha

@sunnydays1013 Oh ok haha. I think maybe a good first step might be to have him make a post here. I can tell you want to help him but supporting his compulsions only feeds the ocd cycle. It would be a good exposure for him to make a post and sit with the anxiety. He might also find acceptance and commitment therapy helpful alongside erp. While ERP is slowly exposing yourself to things that trigger your anxiety (starting small and building up) act is learning to accept thoughts (or in this case past actions) without judgement, and to go about your life even with the uncertainty.

@Nikki1809 Even w the uncertainty of jail?

@sunnydays1013 Yup!