Anyone get super anxious when change happens or making a big decision? (Tattoo specific question) Mine might be minor but I have anxiety about wanting a tattoo (or more) one day. I really like them and would like to get some, but it makes me nervous to do so for a couple of reasons. One is the opinion of my parents. Even though I’m 24, I still live at home (happily I might add) and they (especially my mom) don’t like them at all. I’ve made choices in the past that they didn’t agree with, like color my hair a bunch, but I think maybe because hair can be changed back and a tattoo really can’t that that part gets me? Two is how I’ll react to it. I normally like change but I don’t tend to react to it well which is an interesting predicament. For example I normally have brown hair but I went and got it silver blonde once because it was something I really wanted for awhile, but it was so different that I broke down crying thinking I made a mistake even though this was what I wanted! I got over it eventually and then I liked it! So I’m afraid that if I get a tattoo that it’ll hit me what I did, even if I do like it, and just break down again (so annoying honestly). I’m also indecisive about it, as in the type of image or words I want. I’ll have an idea and just sit on it for months at LEAST to make sure if it’s what I want and I end up changing my mind. Lately I had an idea I wanted for over a year and I still like it, but I’m still nervous I’ll change my mind again and regret it. I also am worried about changing my look so drastically. I see images of people with super cool tattoos on their arms and legs and whatnot and I’m in awe they look awesome! And I’d want some too! But then part of me feels like I’d be someone I’m not, even thought it’s been something I wanted for actual years, if that makes sense. Any thoughts or opinions on this? I feel like once the virus has lightened up and it’s safe to do more things it’d be cool to maybe get one on my birthday, starting off small, but I don’t know!

Do any of you avoid cleaning because it makes you more anxious? I haven’t worn any makeup on in awhile except for my eyelashes and lipgloss , but after keeping them in my makeup bag for too long I get scared. I dropped these Bobby pins on the floor the other day in my bathroom and mind u I haven’t done a full bathroom clean since I left for Florida on the 6th and I came back the 13th. The Bobby pins were still clipped on the paper package (if that makes sense) and I didn’t touch the floor fully but the side of my finger touched the floor. I don’t think I immediately washed my hands after but eventually I did. I ended up getting some lipliner from my makeup bag and I purposely didn’t overwash my hands bc I’m trying to be better about not excessively washing them. I feel like touching the floor and not washing my hands right away caused a flare up. I do wanna put on a full face of makeup but I’m scared that I’ll get a wart or an infection on my face. I know I’ve talked about this numerous amounts of times but I had a wart the first week of February and sometimes I feel like the virus is still on the floor. I haven’t soft scrubbed the floor but I’ve used a lot of Clorox wipes to wipe the floor. Like I said though, I haven’t washed my floors since Florida and I think it’s just anxiety. I’m trying to let my mind settle and doing the “maybe or maybe not methods.” I just feel like that wart on my foot traumatized me. I wanna empty all my makeup out … like all the brushes and even the bag. I know it’s such a waste of money but there are times I’ll go buy the same makeup brushes bc I’m scared to get it contaminated. Ugh and when I fo go out and buy them my ocd kinda flares bc then it’s saying “maybe someone returned this makeup brush and used it and your gonna get a wart that way too.” 😣 It’s like I can’t win. And then I think to myself, “am I gonna get punished or will something happen to me if I do get a new brush?” 😞 it’s very exhausting! Please any advice would help!

I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear around what I know and what I don’t know. I also just had some a French vanilla coffee so I think this made it worse. And I should have known better. I realize I am really uncomfortable about what is out of control to the point I am very scared and nervous and I don’t know what it is about. Every time I journal I feel a strong urge to through the journal away and get a new one, in the same way every choice and decision I make it is out of fear and uncomfortableness not because it is my actual decision. So now I feel like more than ever ocd is controlling my life even though I know that what it is and that it is not something to be afraid of but I stilll constantly doubt and judge myself. I officially got diagnosed I was not sure before but what is the first step to taking back control over your life and yourself? I am on the waiting list for therapy but also I wish I could go to therapy sooner but I want someone I know I will work well with and I don’t want to rush thing because I know I will not do well at making such a big step in my own because I will overthink it so I just want to get myself to a point where I can do important things like that for myself. With school coming up I am even more stressed and worried about making the right decisions. Any tips? I would appreciate it. Also can anyone relate to this confusion and this dilemma with making important dedication like getting help and going to the doctor? Any did it make it hard to navigate school?

Hi all it’s been a bit since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing ok ish Today has been weird, idk if it’s cuz I upped my vyvanse to 20mg and it’s making me anxious or if everything is just colliding rn It feels like idk myself anymore. I’ve been flipping between ROCD, soocd and tocd the last couple of days/weeks. Rn I just feel horrible and idk why but I’ve been on my period for 11 days now. My period usually lasts 7. When I’m not on birth control. I’ve been on birth control since October of last year and hadn’t had a period till coming home end of April/early may and now it’s back again. I’ve been ranting to chat gpt (Ik it’s bad, I just didn’t know who to turn to) Rn I’m just really in my head about my gender and I’m anxious and crying and I just don’t feel good. Context for tonight’s thought I was doing my skincare, I’ve been trying to develop a routine cuz I’m bothered by the texture on my face and how it makes my makeup look. I’ve always felt less pretty than other girls tbh. Anywyas. As I was doing my skincare I had this thought just happen across my mind of “what if I dislike my skin and face so much cuz I’m trans? What if the reason I’ve been depressed lately is cuz I’m slowly becoming dysphoric and hating myself?” When in fact I think the issue is: I haven’t seen my bf in a month and a bjt. I’ve been bleeding for 11 days. I’m in summer classes and stressed about the comjng semester and how much work I have to do to catch up cuz I’m in pre med and I’ve been fucking slacking lately and I truly hate myself for it. I miss being hugged by my bf. I’ll admit I need a good dicking down tbh. My brother is a whole other story while I’m home. I just feel. Gross and bad. And I’m worried I’m trans. I’m worried I’m a lesbian or smthn. I’m worried I don’t love my bf deeply enough and it’s all just circling in my head a lot and I just feel like curling into a ball. I’ve always been a tomboy, I mostly hung out with boys cuz the girls never liked me. I was weird. I loved dragons. I had imaginary friends. At one point as a kid I tried a different name, I think it just didn’t fit and I grew out of that and just went back to my normal name. But now I’m worried I just repressed that. But I see a lot of girls who also went through the same thing and are also just women. But I’m so scared that I’m “not letting the TV glow” like that trend (that shit made me so anxious. I have trans friends and I love them but im scared of it for myself) I feel still sorta tomboyish but dress feminine, once in a blue moon ill dress semi masculine and now I’m worried that means im either trans or a lesbian who wants to be masc. but I’m not. I don’t think I am Idk who I am anymore. Idk if it’s just ocd or if im actually discovering smthn Im just anxious as hell tbh. So I don’t think that’s the case. I’m just sitting here. Looping in my head. My typical “drown out the noise” tv shows won’t load properly cuz of our new wifi and it’s really irritating me. What if I’ve been lying every time I try to do a “are you trans/genderfluid/non binary?” quiz. What if I’ve been lying to my bf. My friends? My family? I keep thinking to myself, if I wasn’t with my bf would I dress the same? Yes I would. I’d still wear my cardigans. My sweaters. My dresses. I’d try out new styles like I want to rn with him. I’m just worried that teying smthn would make me realize smthn about myself but I don’t think it would. Idk. I’m just in all these irrational thoughts. Jumping to conclusions Any advice would be appreciated. I mostly just needed to vent about this.