Hi everyone. My name is Dan, I suffer with very severe Pure O OCD. This year my OCD has been awful and then when lockdown happened things got progressively worse. I sometimes can spend up to 12 hours a day doing rituals. Yesterday, I had a terrible day. I was doing rituals for 10 hours, and becoming very distressed with the intrusive thoughts. I often bash my head to make them stop but yesterday I did it a little too hard. This has given me a slight wake up call however to be making better choices. I have tried exposure several times but I am going to try again. I'm taking the mind frame that rituals make the situation worse and keep feeding the thoughts. It's going to be incredibly hard, I know. And I'm sure I will fail at times, I'm very scared but I feel I have to do it in order to just be Dan again. If anyone has any support or tips, I would be very grateful. May you all have sunny days and starry nights ?

Hi Dan, I am so sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. Know that you are not alone in this. When things got bad for me, it helped to know that the intrusive thoughts I was having was not really unique to me. Sure, maybe the details change here and there, but if I took a step back, I saw that the general themes fit in with the intrusive thoughts other people with OCD are having. For me, this showed me that the thoughts are just thoughts, and that anyone can have the same thought that I can have. The difference is that for us that struggle with OCD, we feel it is necessary to do whatever it takes to get “rid” of the thoughts. The paradox is that by trying to get rid of the thoughts, we are actually paying more attention to them and giving them more power than they have. I am glad to hear you will try exposure work, but remember, the important part is the RESPONSE PREVENTION. We can be exposed to anxiety at any time, but it is our response to that anxiety that shows our brain whether the thought is important or not. Acknowledge the thought is present when it comes up. Accept the thought for being there (this does not mean we are accepting the content of the thought, but rather accepting the fact that the thought it present) Allow the thought to be there WITHOUT tryung to get “rid of it” or without ruminating on it. The thought will come and go as it wants, but continue not to react to it. Eventually, you will train your brain that the thought it unimportant and your anxiety will decrease. Importantly, reduce your compulsions little by little. If you did rituals for 10 hours yesterday, reduce by 30 minutes each day. Slowly, you will come out of this, but stick with it! If you can, work with a therapist on a plan of action for OCD treatment.

“Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” by Sally M. Winston is a great read. Helped me understand that my brain is only trying to “protect me from danger” My anxiety that comes from pure o has significantly reduced since reading.