Anyone else suffer with acne or trauma scars? I had perfect skin and then a few years ago a makeup counter used dirty brushes on my face and I got an impetigo staph infection all over my face and down my arm. After the open sores healed and the infection went away, I am left with a depressed white scar in my forehead where it started and a white raised one on my arm fold. Yes there is makeup but I’d like to feel good naturally again and white scars are usually permanent. I have dumped thousands into CO2 lasers, subsicion and peels, and currently waiting to heal after getting CO2 laser months ago to build up collagen in my scar. I don’t have confidence anymore like I used to. I don’t wanna have to go to the gym and beach with makeup on.

I’ve always had low self esteem and insecurity which stem from my narcissistic emotionally abusive father. But to be honest the infection was bad and the resulting scar was cosmetically not appealing. In certain lighting you can see a dent on my head and it takes away from my whole face. And I’ve read people online with similar issues spending a lot of money on things because it generally costs a lot. My therapist even said it’s a good investment for my own sanity and self esteem. Now I lost pigment in the scar and it’s just one white dot in the middle of my forehead near my eyebrows. With makeup I look fine but I’d also like to feel confident without. Dents can be filled in and collagen can grow but pigment issues are sometimes permanent. Also someone made a comment once about my arm scar asking if it’s a heroin track mark because it’s raised and shows when I fold my arm. It just makes me so angry.

@Anxiousgirl I have a white ice pick indented scar right in the middle of my forehead too, from chickenpox as a child- I'd upload a photo if we could. I used to be self conscious about it, but I've realised that for other people it's just a part of me, it's the same as any other feature, in fact it's unique. It may not be what I'd choose for myself given the option, but it's also not a blight. People wouldn't see or treat me any different if I didn't have it. It's part of the whole package of me and is exceedingly unlikely to be a problem for someone else. I'm sure that, just like me, you look fine without makeup disguising it. To be honest, from your description it sounds adorable. Just like it's adorable when someone has a tuft of hair which is randomly white or grows the wrong way, or a funny pattern of freckles. The person who asked about track marks sounds pretty dumb, as that's not even what that looks like, they probably didn't realise that it's an offensive thing to say. It doesn't mean that you actually look like a drug addict, you know? Even if you see these things as flaws and as things gone wrong which are in need of fixing, other people just... Don't. I promise that unfortunately, as you go through life you're going to get plenty more scars and other 'imperfections'. None of them are going to threaten your relationships- have you ever had a friend or acquaintance where you noticed when you met them that they had weird teeth or acne or another 'flaw', and it actually made you judge them? Once you got to know them, did you see those flaws as problems, or as part of the whole of who they are and totally acceptable as a part of them? Would you ever suggest they 'fix' something about themselves? Why do those people deserve more consideration from you than you give to yourself? If you change yourself to try to avoid judgment, isn't that the same thing as changing yourself in order to cater to the sort of extremely superficial people to whom it actually matters that you have a scar? Tbh I have never even met someone who had a personal issue with somebody else's physical flaws. It doesn't really happen. We all really do tend to accept and enjoy people as they are. It makes a lot of sense to be angry about what happened and angry that you've been left to deal with the consequences of their malpractice. It's not fair on you, you didn't deserve it and you're completely normal and correct to be angry about it. But you don't need to direct that anger at yourself. You didn't cause it, and anyone hearing your story, I guarantee, is shocked and pissed about the negligence of this makeup place, not imagining you with a horrible condition and thinking that you're unattractive or gross or any other judgments you made about yourself at the time or now. It's horrible to have to live with a visible reminder of a horrible experience, and marks which you didn't choose and didn't deserve. And it's even worse to have these things potentially be permanent. Nobody has the right to put someone else through that. But I truly don't think that putting yourself through so much stress and expense to try to make it like it never happened, is the only answer to the emotional experience you're going through. I think you could benefit a lot from hearing from the people who love you that you haven't become any less beautiful to them, and also from seeing someone, or the company, held accountable for the expense and emotional distress you've been through and are still going through. Somebody really needs to apologise and mean it.

@Scoggy https://www.realself.com/question/new-york-ny-treating-rolling-atrophic-crater-scar-forehead Ok so I actually posted a question on my scar and you will see pictures of it in lighting. It has improved since then because the CO2 laser takes at least 6 months to see results. You will see it on an angle in the first pic and when I frown in the second pic. It’s a big rolling atrophic scar. I might just get bellafill filler to just fill it in for a while while the collagen grows because constant procedures are so pricey. I appreciate your comment. I really need to learn how to love myself. I grew up with a father who would say “put some makeup on” whenever he was pissed and he actually said “grow some tits” once when I talked back to him when I was 12. I already went through this in therapy and my mom just makes excuses for my dad and she’s stuck in a cycle of narcissistic abuse. When I got with my narcissistic ex (I guess I naturally attract people like my father) he also put me down after the lovebombing stage. I’m so sick of men mistreating me.