Was anyone else sheltered by helicopter parents growing up? How does this affect you as an adult and your OCD? I was so sheltered and naive and then I went away to Penn State for my undergrad (one of the biggest party schools). From 18-25 (I’m 27 now) I learned things the hard way, got myself into loads of trouble, and dealt with some substance abuse and now afterwards I have more mental health problems because the real world is not what I thought it was. It’s a horrible place and I don’t know how to take care of myself. My real event OCD themes are things I would’ve never imaged having at 18 years old. The aftermath of trying to rebel and be my own person had its consequences.

"Pure" OCD

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

My parent sheltered me, but they were also very liberal in telling me how life actually is. They told me exactly why I was being sheltered and made me understand it. I witnessed things happen in real life growing up poor that they couldn't shelter me from as well. Walking to the bus stop seeing gun raids at my apartment complex. My next door neighbor who was a nurse who had two toddlers overdosed on heroin. A boy I used to be acquaintances with in elementary got shot in the head in the next building over. I always knew that the world was a nasty scary place. I think that's WHY I'm the way I am. I'm happy my parents did the best they could to protect me. I never wanted to rebel.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I knew but I never really saw anything because my parents kept me in the suburban life and spoiled me rotten. They said “oh we’re from Brooklyn it was a hard life we don’t want you in that environment” and they would tell me how the world is but it didn’t teach me anything. My mom was a neurotic perfectionist and my dad is a narcissist so it was just too much growing up with them. And on top of that my mom would constantly try to take me out of college because she was paying for it and threatened me with it. It made my grades go down and I just partied more. Then I dated a Salvadoran guy at school that I really liked and my mom went off on me about drug cartels in a racist way and told me he could pay for my college. The guy didn’t even do drugs and was so nice. Crap like this made me hate my parents. I know my parents meant well with the sheltering and wanting me to not party and get myself into trouble but everything backfired.

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

These sort of things are always hard to know the source of. We tend to retroactively search for an answer to our current suffering in the past, and wonder if that’s the cause of it. For me, I went through that journey. I had considerable trauma from my childhood in various forms, and found through therapy that it didn’t quite matter how I arrived at my current state, but more so what I did now that it’s here. The universe is one of cause and effect, and while knowing the cause is illuminating in some fashion, it still doesn’t alter the effect. The present moment is all that we have. The past is gone and the future is unknown. So you’ve had the experiences you’ve had, and you’re now where you are. What will you do? We can’t necessarily always choose the path we take in life, but we can certainly be observant and thoughtful and try to learn from our mistakes. I’ve made so many. I’ll make so many more. But I take heart in the fact that I’m a completely different person than I was a decade ago, and that likely, I’ll be completely different a decade from now. If you’re not already, get into treatment. Work with an OCD specialist. Or, if need be, other clinicians to address other issues you may have.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for this response. I had an OCD specialist for 12 years. I first got diagnosed at 14. Now I can’t afford it and I’m on the BetterHelp app. I have PTSD from some things that happened to me throughout the years and my therapist now is not an OCD specialist but she was a psych professor and has dealt with PTSD victims. I am back home living with my parents which is one of the issues but I’m not in a financial state to move out right now especially since I’m in New York and there is a pandemic going on. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have my job. My real event ocd makes me believe that my past will come to haunt me in some way. I’ve really been trying to be in the now and take lessons from the past. But my ocd will just tell me “oh what if this guy or this guy secretly recorded you during sex and you have gone viral?” Then I will check porn sites or the internet in general for myself for hours. Or I feel the need to confess everything for reassurance to someone I date or I think they will reject me for my wild past (I had a narcissistic ex recently that would bring up my past during fights and say “how can I marry you?”) .

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

@Anxiousgirl When you worked with the specialist, did they do ERP? It’s great that you’re working with someone for PTSD! Don’t give up on it even if you just feel overwhelmed or out of it. This is a hard time for everyone in the world. So you have to be a little patient with yourself.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Yeah I have all the tools from her but I wasn’t good with doing my homework. A lot of the time she had me repeat scripts in my head because “you can’t think two things at once” and talking to myself all day was so mentally exhausting. My therapist now is doing CPT with me (cognitive processing therapy) and it’s helping my ocd as well. The job I have now is through a temp agency so I currently don’t have insurance for medication (I was medicated 2 years ago and moved abroad so I went off meds) and now I take ashwaghanda and valarian root in the meantime. During this time it’s just too easy for me to binge eat or drink too much alcohol in front of Netflix out of boredom. I’m starting to get cabin fever.

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

@Anxiousgirl I feel you! I was pretty active and then quarantine hit and I went to the opposite end of the fitness spectrum. But now I’m getting back on the wagon. Right now I don’t feel like working out at all, but I’m going to do yoga! Take even a short walk, break up the monotony a little bit. Choose one thing that makes you happy or that you enjoy doing and do that! Even if it feels contrived or like you’re faking it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Yeah! I either go all out and diet and exercise hard for a week or I binge eat and don’t work out. I try to do something everyday but I feel like I’m half assing my workouts and then I feel I can reward myself with a nice meal order from Uber eats.

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

@Anxiousgirl I did the same cycle! I’ve tried over time to condition myself to just take it one day at a time.

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