tw // abuse i don’t exactly know if this is related to ocd, it might be but anyway if you’re a victim of emotional abuse, do u ever find ur self making up excuses like “it’s not even that bad, it was a long time ago it doesn’t matter, people have it worse than i do, am i even being emotionally abused”? im dealing with narcissist abuse from my mother and i have been for most of my life and my mind keeps telling me that i’m making all of it up and it’s not as bad as it seems. it even feels wrong calling it abuse. i told my therapist this and she reassured me that this IS abuse and that self doubt and confusion is common but idk why i cant allow my self to accept it. i plan on moving out bc of this reason, but again my mind will tell me “u don’t have a strong enough reason to move out, ur being so dramatic” ugh this is the worst feeling

I'm so happy she has someone who validates her experiences, that goes such a long way! Sound like you're a great friend to her! I know how much that is needed!

I think making excuses can even be like a defense mechanism, maybe? Like you downplay your experience because it can be really hard to admit to yourself that what you're going through is truly trauma

@AMP2 Yeah, I guess making excuses isn’t quite right, it’s more like downplaying her trauma. But yeah I can see that. There’s such a stigma attached to trauma in society. I think sometimes she maybe doesn’t want to worry me too, like she tells me it’s ok cuz she’s used to it. I usually tell her she shouldn’t have to be used to it.

@AMP2 My therapist has this theory for me and honestly I can't tell whether it's true or not, she says that's why I've blamed myself for my choices and not being assertive when I've faced abuse and failed to let myself hold other people accountable. Years ago I actually *did* successfully access a lot of that anger but I lashed out because of it and now it feels dangerous to let myself. It usually just makes me feel guilty when I try to be balanced because it's like I'm doing something wrong and hurtful and not appreciating the good in people. So not feeling it is definitely some kind of self protective thing to avoid painful emotions and admitting how bad it is, but I think the reasons can be more complicated than just not wanting to admit to yourself that you've been seriously hurt by people.