Hey. So recently mu HOCD has been great, like I am not so anxious anymore and I am not in my head all the time. But because I am very sad and had fights at home with my parents, I think I will never have a proper relationship. My HOCD tells me that because I haven’t enjoyed sex with man and have not orgasmed that it will happen also in the future. And that the groinals I get to female pictures mean that I am a lesbian. i don’t get that to the male body. So yeah now I am scared that because I am not so anxious I am accepting smth terrifying.

I can relate so much. I have a bf and I can't connect with him and I just want to cry. My head feels so heavy from the intrusive thoughts. I just want to die at this point.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I have had a lot of crushes and loved man, but somehow they didn’t work out. My longest relationship was 5 months and yeah the sex was bad, but at the moment I didn’t give it any meaning. I just kept thinking why I couldn’t orgasm and I felt like a freak. Than my brain tried to conecct the dots withthe fact that I feel aroused to sexual material that has women in it,like female features boobs, butts and stuff and so I thought I must be a lesbian. Truth is many straight women experince the same thing, they feel more turned on by the sight of the female body, and they look at mans face more. So thing is if I tell myself maybe you’re a lesbian, I freak out coz I feel terrible imagining my life without a man, but then my OCD tells me that is gonna be terrible and I will realise I was meant to be a lesbian. Can I ask you how old are you?

@Klau Same I relate to you so much! Accept the relationship part. I was aroused by men but it wasn't much and I used to watch L porn which scares me a lot. And I'm 14 as if this year.

First thing first don’t try and analyze the thoughts. They are just thoughts. They can’t make you what you are not. Also try not to look at the same sex or the opposite to see if you feel aroused or attracted. Before OCD you wouldn’t focus, you just knew when you liked someone. Second thing don’t try to rumminate, like get into upur past experience withthe opposite sex to find answers. Because at first you will feel good about yourself coz you will think that you have proof that you are straight, but after that your OCD will find smth that didn’t go well and you will start to think that you probably are not. So some of your memories will get twisted and turned by your HOCD. Like before maybe you were sure about fancing someone, but now you think well you saw her naked that timebut you didn’t get an erection or smth( just to give you an example). Best of luck!

@Klau Do you feel sometimes irretated to move or do anything because your to concious to your movements if its weird or gay?

@Klau Yes im not attracted to same sex. I really love my partner. I know for myself im not gay im straight from the beggining. But the thoughts. It wont stop.