- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hm. Well, this skirts around the issue but: it seems your mom needs to realize she makes her own decisions. What you think about how she lives shouldn’t be what makes her decisions.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is very true and I've said this to her. She asks my opinion. I give it and tell her "but I cant control what you do" and she legit said to me today, "yes you can, through fear and manipulation". I was like...."I called a suicide hotline because I contacted a fomite and got it all over my face the other day and thought dying was easier than suffering with my mental health around this. So I'm not sure what kind of support you were expecting from me of all people" She wants to do what she wants but also wants people to agree. And I cant. I want to help her and be a positive person for her, but we dont see eye to eye. I also have a strong sense of responsibility and guilt with my ocd. If I agreed with her and they got sick, I'd never forgive myself for not fighting harder to keep them safe.
- Date posted
- 5y
I also feel like when they get sick, she would turn around and be like "we're sick! You told me it was okay to go back to work! This is your fault!"
- Date posted
- 5y
@catattak Shew! Yeah. People make their own choices in this weird COVID world. If she asks again, maybe tell her: “I told what I think. You need to make your own choice.” And give her the space to respond less than maturely but don’t let her, in turn, try to manipulate you, Easy for me to say, removed from the situation.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Alyosha Right. Assure her I love her and am not trying to be mean or rude. Just haven't changed my mind.
- Date posted
- 5y
One helpful tool Ive found useful in the combating of OCD, is the podcast “The OCD stories”. There is an episode from April 22, John hershfield discusses this complex issue - dealing with COVID and OCD, and how to differentiate between the rational and irrational. Check it out! And I empathize with you greatly! Best wishes!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you I will check that out!
- Date posted
- 5y
Who knew our parents would make us pay for our raising by becoming the teens we once were? It's okay to not be your mom's "fall guy". What you said earlier, assuring her of your love while standing firm in your disagreement, is an excellent way to handle this. Your parents' health issues put them in a WHO high-risk category. That is a fact, not OCD.
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Does anyone have OCD regarding always feeling like you are not good enough at your job? I'm 58 years old now I've had OCD since childhood. Every job I've been at I never felt as good as my colleagues. I am a nurse but I worked at that for 15 years I had a breakdown of sorts in 2017 and went on disability. I now work part time as a a swim instructor for kids. I always was afraid of killing someone when I was a nurse. Then I tried dog grooming but I was afraid I would do it wrong and hurt the dogs. At least now the stakes are lower. But my OCD is the same. I work with colleagues who are about 40 years younger than I am . I am afraid of teaching certain classes bc I feel like I wouldn't do as good a job as someone else. I know I can do it but it's like I have a fear of not giving them their money's worth. I've been at my current job for 2 years . I've gotten very positive comments from my managers but I can't seem to believe them. I feel a lot of shame bc I lost a lot of my life to OCD and I am at an age where people are starting to retire after long and successful careers and here I am working at an entry level job. I'm planning on trying to get out of my comfort zone and teaching some of the classes I'm afraid of .it's really hard. I'm always scared what if I lose my benefits and had to work again as a nurse how would I do it.
- Date posted
- 19w
My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??
- Date posted
- 14w
Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what I’m about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born I’ve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and I’d get my baby taken from me. I’ve NEVER had anyone tell me I’m a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think I’m a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think I’m a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and someone think I’m not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasn’t magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I don’t open up because I feel like I’m the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m failing as a mom. I don’t even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I don’t want them to think I’m a bad mom. It just doesn’t stop.
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