As I said before My new thought is about not loving him for the person he is, but for the way he treats me. Only liking his hugs and love ... it worries me. I want to love him for the person he is. Im worried about just using him to make me feel better... He would NEVER deserve to be treaten that way :( Anyone that can relate or tell about what the did about that thought?

Im scared bc I’m worried I’m gonna hurt him so Is me worrying that showing I don’t actually like him. I’m just worried but I think it’s cuz he’s so nice he’s different then who I’ve been with my brain isn’t use to this

I feel horrible. I feel like I treat my boyfriend as if I don't care for him or our relationship, like its something new and foreign as if we haven't been together for 3+ years. I walk past a guy and pick up on his looks then feel like a cheater. And when I consider my own boyfriend, I try to rationalize my thoughts, reassure myself of my feelings for my boyfriend, all the while feeling completely and utterly disconnected not only from him and our relationship but from myself. I feel like the voice and thoughts and feelings I have a lot of times aren't me. I feel like I'm trying to fit in wherever I go. I feel stuck, tired, and drained. I'm depressed and then I'm anxious, always low with a few highs and not the good kind. My head hurts, my body hurts, everything hurts, but especially the guilty I carry for feeling like I'm wasting my own time and life and my partners time. I feel like I'm convincing myself that I like him, that I care for him, but somehow my mind always tells me he's my forever and I want him to be but it doesn't FEEL like that inside me and it's so hard dealing with 2 opposing thoughts of that level. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. Every day, I feel the much more like I'm out of touch from our relationship. It's been years and I'm still like this, and it makes me wonder whether this ocd shit is all in my head and really I'm just running from something I don't want to accept. But I don't want it to be like that, but it just doesn't make any sense. Even saying that the ocd is making me second guess myself feels like a lie. I am so fucking lost.

hi. relationships are really hard for me. the intrusive thoughts while we are just hugging and like showing affection r bad. it almost ruins the entire feeling for me. i started to have doubts while we were cuddling and think abt what if im not in love with him and im using him. i love him very much and id never wanna do anything to hurt him. hes very sweet to me and i try my best to show that i love him too but my thoughts keep telling me im not in love with him i need to leave because im gonna end up cheating on him or telling me that i already did and telling me im leading him on and playing him when none of this is happening or true. i actually cried a little bit while cuddling with him because of this. i dont want to ruin the relationship its fr interfering and i hate it :(