As I said before My new thought is about not loving him for the person he is, but for the way he treats me. Only liking his hugs and love ... it worries me. I want to love him for the person he is. Im worried about just using him to make me feel better... He would NEVER deserve to be treaten that way :( Anyone that can relate or tell about what the did about that thought?

Yes definitely. Sometimes we don’t get those butterflies because we’re extremely guarded. But it can be built and butterflies can come later. Just live each day with the intention of being happy with your partner and it will come naturally :)

I’m about to start dating this really good guy and I’m scared I only like him platonically and not romantically. It’s not the same as what you are dealing with but similar. I feel such shame from it because I want to date him but I don’t feel the butterflies in my stomach and all those things that people talk about. He’s probably the greatest guy I’ve ever known but I can’t shake this fear?

Well you know... you don’t need butterflies to know that you love somebody I have met a girl who also has rocd and she has been dating this guy for a long time. She didn’t have a honeymoon phase I have also been afraid of only loving him platonically But you know what? I simply tell myself I CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM PHYSICALLY, I CHOOSE TO TOUCHE HIM! If I truly would NOT want to! Then I would NOT BE DOING IT. That’s acceptance! And you yourself say that you WANT to date him. If you look logically at it... there is nothing that forbids you to do so. You have a choice! Excuse my English ?

Thank you! That helps a lot

I relate to this - I sometimes think i take my boyfriend for granted - asking him for help, advice, love, reassurance. Then I focus in on his “negative traits” and worry that I’m just selfish and needy. But you’re right, I wouldn’t be in a relationship if I didn’t want to, as I NEVER thought anyone was this great before. And, he consistently tells me I’m kind and thoughtful and amazing - so I guess we have to go with reality not what’s in our heads?

You*