- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes definitely. Sometimes we don’t get those butterflies because we’re extremely guarded. But it can be built and butterflies can come later. Just live each day with the intention of being happy with your partner and it will come naturally :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m about to start dating this really good guy and I’m scared I only like him platonically and not romantically. It’s not the same as what you are dealing with but similar. I feel such shame from it because I want to date him but I don’t feel the butterflies in my stomach and all those things that people talk about. He’s probably the greatest guy I’ve ever known but I can’t shake this fear?
- Date posted
- 6y
Well you know... you don’t need butterflies to know that you love somebody I have met a girl who also has rocd and she has been dating this guy for a long time. She didn’t have a honeymoon phase I have also been afraid of only loving him platonically But you know what? I simply tell myself I CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM PHYSICALLY, I CHOOSE TO TOUCHE HIM! If I truly would NOT want to! Then I would NOT BE DOING IT. That’s acceptance! And you yourself say that you WANT to date him. If you look logically at it... there is nothing that forbids you to do so. You have a choice! Excuse my English ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! That helps a lot
- Date posted
- 6y
I relate to this - I sometimes think i take my boyfriend for granted - asking him for help, advice, love, reassurance. Then I focus in on his “negative traits” and worry that I’m just selfish and needy. But you’re right, I wouldn’t be in a relationship if I didn’t want to, as I NEVER thought anyone was this great before. And, he consistently tells me I’m kind and thoughtful and amazing - so I guess we have to go with reality not what’s in our heads?
- Date posted
- 6y
You*
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
i went to therapy today and i told her about the lack of feeling i gave with my boyfriend, when we do anything, and all the anger i feel for no reason and she somehow told me im not sure i didnt understand it that , it dosent make sense that i want to love him but i dont feel love and i feel disgust when we kiss and thinngs and that i cant accept the truth????? like she is telling me i have lots of fear in me and im telling her im scared that i dont love him but this relationship is making me feel sad and uneassy when i want to be happy and calm bur i kept telling her all of this is bc of the thoughts and she told me that the thoughts are suppose to ease ar least when i am with him… i didnt tell my bf i wrnt to therapy bc he thinks they only want money, and that they can help me but i hav to help myself, and last time i went to therapy i wasnt feeling better and he is wondering how i wasnt feeling any better and that its strange to him to do “steps “ like this bc they only want money. And i left more confused and sad because she confirmed my fears somehow? i dont understand. im just scared i dont actually love him and that i only put high expectations on this relationship and i cant accept the truth. She told me , after i told her i always told people that these thoughts are not true bc they felt out of place, that we can say one thing and feel one thing and i felt like she was telling me again that these thoughts are real. I know im sad and miserable but i dont want to be like this, im scared that i iust matured and i simply dont love him
- Date posted
- 20w
I keep overthinking about the guy I go to church and stuff with and we have had talks about relationships and he’s aware of everything but I feel like I’m not being completely honest. He’s a great man but I doubt because of his looks. He’s not ugly but I’ll see another guy and find that guy super attractive. My heart is so heavy because of my anxiety. I looked on google if you should tell someone honestly that you don’t find them attractive. I don’t know what to do! I feel like crying because what if I’m leading him on. I see post that say looks don’t matter and I agree but I doubt this guy a lot. What if I’m not being completely honest with him. After church we held hands and we hugged. When I’m near him I want to be close and hug not too much touchy stuff though but when I’m at home I’m doubting everything. I feel like a horrible person. I feel like I’m just making excuses or not getting to the point I’ll call my mom when my anxiety and mind starts acting up and then I’ll be calm and now it’s up
- Date posted
- 16w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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