Has anyone done CPT (cognitive processing therapy) for trauma and anxiety? I’m in the middle of it now a few weeks in and I’m more triggered and anxious than ever. My OCD doesn’t help the situation. Sometimes I feel like my OCD gets in the way of CPT fully working.

Yeah I’m constantly just thinking about the shame I have over my trauma and I have homework to do every night. It’s hard for me to concentrate on work this week. I’m constantly being stimulated. I hope this is good in the long term. I’m basically shocking my system.

@Anxiousgirl I did some research in it when I started and it seems like it has good results.

@catattak I hope so. I constantly feel on edge like I need a stiff drink lol. I’ve been exercising a little everyday but I’m still anxious. Then recently friends from my past have contacted me for plans and I’m going on a vineyard getaway next week after being isolated in pandemic for so long. So much exposure!!

@Anxiousgirl That's a lot! It makes sense you are tense. Can you use relaxation exercises a bit more often too when you're doing okay to strengthen them?

@catattak I watch ASMR videos to calm down sometimes. Since my work week has not been stressful I’ve been able to sleep but during the day my mind is just all over the place. I think I’m also triggered because one of the people is from college and when we catch up I’m always tempted to spill all the trauma I’ve experienced the past 5 years. A lot has changed since graduation 5 years ago. So when I get into deep talks with some old friends, it’s always anxiety inducing to bring up things that have happened to me and seeing their reactions. I know I don’t have to say anything but I always get the urge, I guess for reassurance.

@Anxiousgirl I think you found a good erp exercise - not to divulge in order to seek reassurance. They are not specialists or experts but any stretch and they really cant give you valuable feedback anyway. Maybe when you feel those urges, you can flip the conversation on them and ask them questions.

@catattak I ended up giving into the urges but not everything. One of my friends is sooo blunt and doesn’t filter, and he also laughs off my traumas I guess because that’s how he thinks I’ll feel better. It does lighten me up at first but makes me anxious after. I told him how I was compulsively looking for myself on porn sites and he started coming up with different porn video titles as a joke and laughing. So just speaking with him alone is so much exposure lol.

@Anxiousgirl Oh my god haha that sounds stressful af

I basically am retraining my brain. Each week I get different worksheets. I hand write narrative accounts of traumatic experiences I’ve had and read it to myself each day some weeks. Then others I fill out worksheets based on “stuckpoints” I’ve come up with. So if I feel bad about something from the past a stuck point can be “I am broken” or “I’m not good enough”, and I break these stuckpoints apart in assignments that make me not have black and white thinking. Eventually through much repetition my brain will do it by itself and I’ll have a better way of thinking in general.

@Anxiousgirl that sounds really good and helpful