Anyone else struggling with “false attractions” and crazy sexual thoughts about people in public regarding HOCD. Please share and help.

Do u have any thoughts on what I just said above too?

But I’m confused as to what a “false attraction” is like I do have groinal responses but what’s the difference between real attraction I guess I’m just so confused as to what’s going on

@Anonymous Trying to figure out which feelings are “real” attraction and which are “false” is a trap set by OCD. Just know that OCD can cause a false sense of attraction through groinals (which is generally caused by simply paying too much attention to your body.) but don’t spend any more time trying to figure out which are real and which are fake. When you feel something, just accept that you have that feeling and don’t assign it any meaning. Maybe it’s real, maybe it’s fake. You don’t actually need to know. What you need is to get better at just letting those feelings be without trying to judge them or change them or reassure yourself of their meaning.

@pureolife This comment helped me so much, thank you so much

@pureolife This helped a lot. But really quick first my HOCD started as thoughts then the thoughts went away and turned into just groinal responses and now the groinal responses are starting to go away but now I have these thoughts of “am I sexually attracted to them?” And then my brain says “oh yes I am” instead sometimes without groinal at all. I’m so numb to any anxiety feelings at this point so does this mean that I am and that these feelings must be real for these people?????

@Anonymous OCD isn’t just thoughts. It’s intrusive urges, feelings, and groinals. Again, you have to stop trying to analyze and measure every little thoughts feeling or urge you have. Accept that you have them and that you have no idea what they mean. Leaning into that uncertainty will actually help you overcome your obsession. The same rules apply across all of these intrusions: stop trying to figure them out! (I know, easier said than done. But it’s the key.)

@pureolife Also: a lack of anxiety is not confirmation of any “truth” coming through here. You’re getting less anxious and more numb because you’ve habituated to these thoughts a little and you’re exhausted. The symptom you should be looking at here isn’t anxiety, it’s mental compulsions, which is what you’re doing each and every time you try to figure out what all these weird intrusive feelings “mean.”

@pureolife You’ve been such a big help thank you so so much. I guess my last question is tho. Then what do gay people actually feel in comparison? Could I just be discovery and coming to terms with myself about new attractions?

@Anonymous Cuz I feel like my stuff mimics what they do and idk I don’t know many gay people

@Anonymous Gay people don’t feel one specific thing. It’s not a litmus test that’s either positive or negative. Gay, straight, bi, etc people experience sexuality differently. And peole are attracted to all kinds of different aspects of other people that are intertwined with gender (some people are highly visual others are attracted to personalities etc.) For me to tell you “what gay people feel” would inevitably be reductive and untrue.

The more you analyze or try to figure things out the worse it will get for you. I find that when my mind is on this topic I’m either anxious or I convince myself the thoughts are true and when I’m not thinking about this I feel like myself and I get a sense of clarity that my thoughts don’t actually hold any importance to me. Basically just keep accepting uncertainty as hard as it is!

@gaby. It’s so hard and I don’t know what to do I thought I was getting better and now I’m back to square one

@Anonymous You’ll have bad days and good days but remember that recover isn’t linear! You can do this.

@gaby. Recovery*