Even if I was one, which there is no proof that I am, I am still attracted to adults. No doubt. I could still find happiness and satisfaction with someone my age. I know my OCD can't just up and leave, I can't just change how my brain developed, but I need to stop worrying about it. I know that's close to impossible without treatment (and trust me I WILL get treatment), but if I'm still content with adults exactly the same way before my pocd hit, then logical me doesn't find a problem. I just have to accept that this is OCD and it isn't me because six months ago this would have never been a problem. I know it might take even years to get through, but I can still find happiness. Even if I don't believe I can on my bad days. I've already hit rock bottom, the only way to go now is up.

I think a lot of people get caught in this loop of trying to accept that their OCD is being dramatic and making things out of nothing, rather than trying to accept that they don't know, can't know, and will never know the answer with certainty. And I think trying to accept that it's not true ultimately results in habitually reassuring yourself, reiterating evidence and getting sucked into that debate. A way that I find personally helpful to see it is that people without OCD don't have the guarantees I crave either. Nobody gets a guarantee, nobody gets closure and perfect acceptance that none of their fears are true. They just don't take ideas seriously enough for them to develop into full blown fears- not because they know, just because they don't have OCD. So, although it's not fair, we can't get to where they are by attempting to know and assure ourselves and 'accept' that it's OCD and not true. We can only get there by treatment- resisting urges to do compulsions, including very habitual mental compulsions. The light at the end of the tunnel is not knowing the answer and being satisfied with it. It's not knowing the answer and living anyway.

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That said, I really approve of the way you've addressed the catastrophisation by acknowledging that even if your fears were true, there are ways you could handle it- you could still be happy, it wouldn't be the end of everything. That's so important, because the more things we can do to make ourselves feel more resilient and capable of handling our fears, the less strong the fears and the urges to solve will get. You're totally right that the only way you can go from rock bottom is up, and that applies even if your fears were true, if it all came true. Rock bottom and total vulnerability is a very stable foundation to build a life on, because there's little left to fear.