How do I stop reminscing,my current obsession from the post before popped up again,and its just looming above my head in a cloud of dread no matter what I do. I feel guilty,and scared,I cant really calm.myself when I'm constantly going back and forth bewteen deciding if something happened to put me in danger or make me irredeemably bad that I hadn't noticed. Sometimes I feel like I'm overreacting and others I feel like I have legitimate concern and I need to know now. The situation im in has created the perfect product for my thinking to flourish. Its got every sort of thing I dread most. Can't stop thinking abt it. For all ik. I am doomed and can't accept it.

In my last post. I said whilst going through old chats I found an old group chat from 3 years ago I never interacted with or said anything in. It was filled with slurs and horrible images. Just like. Shitpost gore and porn art of cartoons from what i remember. Someone posted a picture of a girls face,I dont remember the context,I think it was just an edgy shitpost image I didnt comprehend, i only remember it showing the face. They were also calling so maybe something with that. But I kept obsessing. Obsessing and obsessing. That if there's that sort of imagery,edgy shit,whos to say they didn't send something illegal,and I just didn't notice when I went through. I talked with a ocd advisor on this. They say it was an overestimation of responsibility and I felt it might be that and overestimation of threat,because I feel like I'm in danger bc they did something illegal and I didn't notice it. I was able to calm down a little,but I keep having this memory,I cant remember if its real or a product of poor imagination and false memory,that i saw more images and i didnt look close that could've been illegal.i went too fast. Or was to afraid to inspect. I cant remember if its real or not.. i can't remember every image i saw. I dont know. So now I'm dead scared, what if I now have on my hands the most vile thing of humanity and I didnt even do anything, just so happened to never check a chat that I was invited to 3 years ago at 15. This chat has made my life hell. Theres a new layer and this is just the most recent. I went through past photos,past chats,and all that to make sure I never acted the way the people in the chat did. I didnt. I panicked over every call I've made in that chat platform that I couldn't recall. I panicked over the one other groupchat I forgot to check and wonder if it was of similar nature. I have felt like the worst,most horrible scum on the planet of the earth, it has dragged me to a place where hope is futile. Its fucking terrifying.

@OpposumTreehouse I didnt report it. I just deleted it. And im so fucking scared and im so fucking mad at myself. Im so mad I didn't check to make absolutely sure of everything. Im so fucking scared

@OpposumTreehouse Some moments its like "this is ridiculous and impossible! Of course not! You are fine" And others its like "no. This is 100% definitely true. You are so fucked,you human trash"

I dont know if i can do this anymore, I have reason to fear,I just want this to stop. I'll never get my old life back.

Thank you. Im trying to move on and forget about it,but its like 'no. You are in immediate danger even if you didn't interact with it. ' I keep remembering an internet safety thing my old teacher said that if someone sends something bad,both the sender and who it was sent to are in trouble.I am trying to practice self compassion,but its hard when I feel that I'm threatened or in danger of something happening to me I couldn't control. Right now I feel a little ok,but yknow,its sort of up and down,some moments i acknowledge that I'm likely ok and being irrational, others I feel like i have reason to worry and freak out.

Its good to know im not alone. Do you have any advice how to deal w it in spite of the threat?