I fucked up and asked for reassurance, so it flipped on its head. I asked this,regarding recent events,I also acknowledged my pure o: "Whilst going on my email,I found a horrible chat on my hangouts,I never seemed to have interacted with it or sent anything. I didnt even remember it. it was full of people calling eachother slurs and being racist,and sending in images like nsfw. The ones I can clearly recall were all cartoons,like Wendy (from the fastfood chain),and a few cursed images of gore. A lot of the images are gone because the people in there deleted their accounts so I didn't see everything. Horrified,I deleted it. I didnt report it,I really feel bad for not reporting it, but I was so distressed I just deleted it and was sort of preoccupied with spiraling. I have no way of accessing it or knowing who was there.There was images of a little girls face i remember,I remember looking close just in case for a second and not noticing anything lewd. It was likely somehow edgy or cursed in another way. I cant remember or not,this may be a false memory,but i can't tell if i saw more images of the girls face or just children and just got too scared to inspect them or if thats a product of my ocd,because i just started thinking abt it. It was a groupchat of what was obviously bigoted, scummy teens trying to be edgy,but im still terrified if they went to extents of sending illegal content for ?? I dont know. I guess those gross type of people would think its funny. and i just happened not to notice or have the courage to inspect going through. Im guessing,because i didnt look at the date but most other chats were around this time,I was .15 when I was invited, or 16,which is around the time I stopped checking hangouts or atleast hardly went on in months. I am 18 now and just discovered it,and live in constant fear i sit on a ticking time bomb and don't even realize it. I have tried to find a way to contact google to tell them, but im too scared to call and I cant find if they have a support email,or think of what I would even say. I never sent,or interacted,not even sure if i knew abt it til now,but I worry solely by association or just being there im fucked. My question is: if my worst fear is true,what do I do? Am I in trouble? Should I even be concerned?" And then,in response it got taken down for not being concise,and I'm quite sure the mod hates me. My question is, now,where do I go from here,why can't i let this go? I was always told that no matter what if you get sent something illegal and don't report it then your in trouble, so my whole life feels like its threatened. I know I'm overthinking, I know its ocd ,but some moments, I wonder if I should listen to the thoughts. Im sorry I can't let this go,this thing just opened up a fresh wound . I made things worse for myself, and I feel guilty for inconveniencing people,and I feel guilty because the only way I've been able to feel better is to talk about it over and over,so i know I don't sound horrible. How do I accept this? How do I live with this?

Very brief mentions of pocd and nsfw jokes,id like this to be adults only . Repost bc i had to edit something Does anyone have experience with real event ocd attached to your online footprint etc? I keep checking old messages,trying to find old people i knew i used to talk to etc. To find out every problematic thing I did and if I've ever been unfollowed or blocked by anyone I used to be friends w online/atleast on good terms w. I am particularly concerned abt doing something bigoted,esp racist bc i have racism ocd,and doing something predatory bc of my pocd. I remember hanging around people who could use 'edgy' or offensive humour in my teens and i remember a lot of sex jokes and that i would join in on sex jokes sometimes . i dont remember details w the offensive humour as much,i feel like i didnt join in on it as much but i was definitely WAY passive abt things and prob let a lot of bad stuff slide i shouldnt have bc i didn't speak up it was wrong,I remember one friend in an online community would say slurs and horrible jokes when i was 16. I dont remember my response to it as much but i feel i didnt speak up abt it aside one time i found in the dms where he made a bad joke on a thing i shared for social justice. I cant stop going thru old messages and stuff or trying to find ppl from the past. I feel like if I don't check it now,that eventually it'll come to haunt me or that I'll stumble across it eventually. I worry what if someone messaged me on one of these apps I un-installed or on one of the accounts I don't have access to,confronting me abt all this stuff I did. I had an obsession w this back in 2020 and did check in depth on all my accounts,but now that it's been 4 years the obsession is back in full swing.

Hello, I've struggled with possible OCD but it didn't involved POCD at first, at first it was basically me denying that I was ever a victim of grooming/pedophilia and how I was the real abuser towards my abusers despite the fact that I was the child, they were the adult, how is that possible??. Then eventually in 2023, I saw a video based on a FNF modder exposing him as a groomer/pedophile, and it was because when he was 17 he allegedly had an interaction with someone who was 15 that was nsfw. Now keep in mind, I was a victim of grooming/pedophilia especially since age 11 and even at 17, however I was also a bit of a promiscuous teen due to years of being groomed and I was having nsfw discussions/heavily sex positive convos with people who were 15/16/17 at 17 and I never considered how that could be inappropriate and my intent wasn't to be predatory but the fact that I was just simply exploring my sexuality, also a lot of the people I was doing this with, we were apart of a discord server that heavily encouraged NSFW convos between Teens and adults and it was made by an adult so bad environment overall made by an actual predator. However it didn't stop me in 2023 thinking that I was a pedophile as a teenager and I was genuinely worried and thought that I was a terrible person and I still do. I only did what I did because I was being hurt and thought it was okay, I never meant to hurt anyone and I at 19 literally convinced myself that I was a pedo in my under 18 teen years because of the age gap between me and my friends {1/2 years} and we had conversations that were sexual based even though I at 19 was dating my BF who was 22/23 at the time, I was 19 having sexual convos with adults, I at 19 had friends that were minors and our conversations were always appropriate and never nsfw or those same friends that I had previous convos with that were nsfw, {they were all either 17/18/19 and I was 19} our conversation topics have switched to more SFW ones unlike the ones we had when we were all minors so how could I be a pedo? and I freaked out about it, I couldn't concentrate in classes at all, it was a genuine nightmare. Eventually I did get better and realized that my behaviors were under duress and how I'm not actually a bad person and how I've changed as an adult and do not wish to harm anyone however I'm back on my cycle of worrying again and I've communicated to the people who I thought I affected and they all express no ill will or any anger and were never uncomfortable, do not think about it or just don't care/simply forgot. But Guilt eats me up like a stray dog. I also sometimes see people on twitter calling 17 year olds dating 15 or 16 year olds pedophiles or calling them "P diddy"

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... Dr disrespect was accused of inappropriately messaging and sending explicit images to a minor, and trying to meet up with them at twitchcon... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless... I dont ever want to ever be a monster...