To everyone that struggles with rocd: Im going to tell you all about my experience with rocd until now. It was horrific at the beginning. I cried all the time... I was in so so much pain. I tried to get a therapist but there was no one with free space for me. I even got to the point where I said that I would go into stationary Therapy. (Which I’ve always denied even though I fought against bad hypochondria). I then finally received a therapist. I have already found out about rocd and I hoped I could get diagnosed with it. But he triggered me even more, saying that I live in denial. I then left and eventually got a good therapist who tried to understand me. She wouldn’t diagnose me too until I asked her it might be some form of ocd. She then told me that she hadn’t thought about it and it probably is. She supports me ever since that day. Helping me find techniques to get trough everyday. It sure gave me reassurance at the beginning but soon it stopped. First I thought that I might not even have rocd( that’s a very common thought that still follows me) and that I just don’t love him. I was helpless. But then I notice that my therapist can be a great support, but that I’m the only person to help myself! I need to learn to understand myself and be good to myself. I have an answer, a tipp to help you. Endurance: Endurance is very very important! EVERY FEELING is TEMPORARY. I ve helped myself a lot by simply telling myself: ,,I know that I feel bad and I know that it’s hard but it’s temporary and it’s going to get better“ By everytime that I have had meltdowns, the periods where I felt fine got longer. Right now even up to the point where I feel love! Believe in yourself! Endurance is so important. Acceptance: The same thing. „I know that I feel bad but still, I’m going to stay. I’m okay with feeling bad.“ There are so many up and downs! But thats a part of the recovery! Very common thoughts during those two points are: ,, I don’t feel pain does that mean that I don’t care about him anymore“ ,, I’m not feeling love right now, I’m afraid that I don’t love him anymore“ „What if I’m never going to love him anymore“ Everyone knows how real rocd can feel, but DON‘T make decisions in a state like that! Promise yourself that. You are going to notice yourself feeling better! Because feelings are temporary! Don‘t force yourself to feel love! You won’t feel anything because of the pressure. Instead of trying to feel love, try focusing on having a good time with him anyway. Don’t look at the bad. Be happy about every success you have! My current state: To be honest, it triggers me to write about all of this, I’m afraid that someday I’m going to break up anyways. I feel anxiety but IT'S OKAY. Everyone fears losing loved ones. I still feel bad sometimes. It doesn’t feel nice. But I don’t have extreme meltdowns anymore. My last one must have been 1/2 months ago and I’m proud for it! I barely thought that I could be happy again. I am able to wake up without thinking about something bad. I am able to be happy. I am able to feel love. I am able to face bad thoughts. I am able to enjoy my relationship. There are up and downs. I’ve learned that. And if I can do that, you can too! I feel anxious right now, my heart even aches but it’s fine. You need to know that it’s fine and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE I believe in every single one of you. Excuse my English I’m German... And have a great day/evening! ?