- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
You could take this triggering situation and a perfect opportunity to PRACTISE ERP. The word practise in particular, not to feel that it must go great. For example, if your usual compulsions would be to jump in the shower, scrub yourself for 20 minutes. Then wash your sheets twice. Start to Google 'I found a bug in my sheets'. And start looking for other bugs ariund your room. You can see that although they might seem that they would help lower the distress, it actually increases all areas of distress, leading to one big snowball effect. I wonder if there are any other ways to soothe yourself other than the OCD compulsions? For example, refraining from doing the compulsions (some ideas of examples above). Instead : put your sheets in the wash. Don't check your room. Don't Google things. This will feel sooooo hard and upsetting. But prehaps in 20 or 30 minutes or 1 hour later, the overall anxiety will have naturally decreased. It's not to say during this time: 'Okay I'm not doing the compulsions so I MUST feel okay and better after this. Oh no I'm not feeling better, that means I'm doing it wrong. I'm so so stupid and messed up for not even doing ERP right." No that's not it. It DOES feel horrible. But we are just at thus stage looking to soothe yourself in any other way OTHER than the OCD
- Date posted
- 4y
I really understand how you feel, but you are cared for and you are seen. You are not alone
- Date posted
- 4y
You're harsh with yourself. I'd say you're someone who's smart enough to try to get rid of his or her issues. And that means a lot on you. But your story's complicated though š¤ can you express your feeling in a better understanding way ?
- Date posted
- 4y
Iām not particularly afraid of bugs. Yes, some bugs freak me out when they get inside and I am not ok with them. However my not being afraid is because I worked at it and created a plan for when to take action, and calmly reminding myself of that plan letās me follow it. Said plan: I will try to leave the bug alone under certain circumstances. Some bugs need to be removed from the house. If I canāt just get them out unharmed, those ones get killed. If a bug repeatedly comes at me, even after I try to scare it away, I put on my bravery shoe and kill it. If said bug wanders near my undies or bras drying on the racks or set out for the next day, I kill it. And lastly if said bug goes to my bed, I try not to, or at least not let it be seen, freak out a bit and kill it. Thatās because beds and clothing is where we feel vulnerable. So it makes sense to be upset; that bug broke the rule. But while I understand not wanting to directly touch it, removing it from the bed, maybe brushing the bed off, and sleeping in it is an excellent FU to your OCD. Because that bug is dead. It canāt hurt you at that point. Your OCD may want to run with it, and will probably try to, but if possible, fight it. Sending you strength so you can learn that you are not broken, or if you were, that you can be fixed, that you can make friends and support systems, and to know you have us here for friendship and support and because we understand it all because we suffer too. š
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any š I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
- Date posted
- 23w
I donāt have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I havenāt felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe itās hormonal, because I feel like Iāve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because Iām not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isnāt me. My life isnāt perfect, but itās not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, Iāve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I donāt just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I donāt even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and itās been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still canāt seem to fully see it. I donāt know how to separate whatās OCD from what might be another disorder. Iām sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you š¤
- Relationship OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Date posted
- 20w
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and Iām hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldnāt be sexualized out of anxiety. Iām ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I donāt want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and itās driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them Iām scared of compulsions, Iām scared of thoughts, Iām scared to be awake, Iām even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. Iām exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isnāt feeling any less severe and itās been months. I donāt want to keep questioning my every move but Iām so hyperaware of everything I do. Iām so tired. Some days I donāt even have tears to cry with. Iām just so full of despair and shame
- Older adults with OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- POCD
- Harm OCD
- Real Events OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond