Hello i don’t know if this is rocd because i have not consulted a therapist yet. I wanna share my thoughts because i cannot talk about this to anyone and i don’t want to confess everything to my boyfriend because it makes me feel relieved only for a short time.

we can do this :)

@ishie15 Yes

hello. Last july, i had a dream about my ex boyfriend being annoying while my boyfriend and i are on a date. I started to think, “why did i dream of him, it seems like he’s always in my dreams or what.” “What if i miss him?” Intrusive thoughts started coming in and i got so scared. My ex-boyfriend made me a “rebound” and i was in great pain after our break-up. I got very scared that i might be doing the same thing to my boyfriend now. That everything i experienced in the past, i may be doing them to my boyfriend. I started ruminating and i felt very guilty for everything. I felt ashamed bcs it’s already been a year and i know i’ve moved on bcs i know in myself i wouldn’t get into a relationship if i’m still in love with my ex.

@ishie15 I get the same thoughts it's difficult I know, now see, you need a therapist. They keep it confidential. This is normal, it doesn't mean you are bad or evil or not loyal. It's okay. Deep breathe, don't act upon it until you know what is happening to you. Thoughts are not you. It's our fear that is controlling us. We are not alone.

@ishie15 I couldn’t sleep, eat, or talk to other people the first couple of weeks bcs i kept seeing images of him. I keep being reminded of him instead of my boyfriend. And i hate that, i don’t want him. But i’ve slowly recovered from that and now the anxiety has lessened. But i heard that my ex suddenly passed away, i got very anxious again. “What if i was glad that he died?” “What if i wanted him to die?” Last night, i felt the anxiety creeping in my body. My head is feels so crowded. My body feels like i’m falling from a certain height. My shoulders feel so heavy. It just sucks. I know i am slighty traumatized from my past because i had a hard time letting go of my toxic attitude towards my boyfriend like feeling insecure to his ex. I am also very frustrated because i feel like my thoughts center around the past relationship and not my present relationship.

@ishie15 See, you are going to doubt every single thing, and you have to accept it. I do too. I cannot eat, sleep or function properly anymore. We have to accept that we are having these thoughts but we should not act upon it and get proper help.

@nimziewd I don’t know. I cannot afford to see a therapist. I am currently reading the book Brain Lock. I hope it helps.

@ishie15 Okay, I watched a YouTube YouTube channel, Awaken into love... Watch her videos, maybe it would help you get some help. She also has some website .

@nimziewd We are not alone, we don't need to leave our relationship, we can get through this.

@nimziewd YES YES!!

@ishie15 :)