Can you guys help me with a bit of a plan? I have my thyroid biopsy in Monday. I have two fears: 1) that I will actually get sick and be turned away at screening 2) that my OCD will make me think I'm sick and I will forgo the appointment out of intense feelings of responsibility, guilt and fear. I think I need a plan in place to manage my OCD if number 2 starts happening. I really cannot afford to let OCD stop me from going to this biopsy. It took months to get because of the pandemic and I cant afford months more because OCD decided to rear its ugly head. Any thoughts on how I can keep calm and be strong enough to be reasonable for my appointment? I've considered just getting tested on friday to prove to myself I'm not sick but im not sure of that feeds OCD and even if it does, does the reward outweigh the risk? Thoughts?

I’m experiencing anticipatory anxiety related to OCD. I have an important trip in 7 weeks and travel triggers my ocd. My feelings are just a dull ache in my belly constantly, and a jittery feeling. I’m confused about the actual obsessions. I used to have harm OCD that sprung from a travel incident years ago and ever since then, travel has been very fear inducing. I get the physical symptoms then my mind starts going hard. I ruminate about whether or not the stress will cause intrusive harm thoughts which in turn causes some intrusive harm thoughts. It’s very confusing and hard. I want to be someone who enjoys traveling and experiencing new things. I want so badly to enjoy this trip. Any advice helps. Thanks.

A few days ago, I posted how proud I am of myself, that I managed to go to the doctor to get a vaccination. Now, two days later, I find myself panicking and ruminating. It was a practice where they also test a lot for HIV and other blood diseases and in my mind, the needle/syringe they used for my vaccination was somehow contaminated with blood from another patient. Maybe by accident but sometimes my mind would make up a scenario where they would do it even on purpose. I was so proud of myself, that I managed to go there on Monday and now I am making up scenarios how I caught HIV by going there - I am feeling guilty because I was „careless“. Any tips for the moment? ❤️

I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?