Can you guys help me with a bit of a plan? I have my thyroid biopsy in Monday. I have two fears: 1) that I will actually get sick and be turned away at screening 2) that my OCD will make me think I'm sick and I will forgo the appointment out of intense feelings of responsibility, guilt and fear. I think I need a plan in place to manage my OCD if number 2 starts happening. I really cannot afford to let OCD stop me from going to this biopsy. It took months to get because of the pandemic and I cant afford months more because OCD decided to rear its ugly head. Any thoughts on how I can keep calm and be strong enough to be reasonable for my appointment? I've considered just getting tested on friday to prove to myself I'm not sick but im not sure of that feeds OCD and even if it does, does the reward outweigh the risk? Thoughts?

content warning: MRI results I got prescribed MRIs done on my lumbar and cervical spine over the weekend, and several things came back abnormal in the report. I started to google when I saw a word ending in -oma, got a basic definition of this particular kind of t*mor (probably benign/non-cancerous), realized that googling in this case was for sure a compulsion, caught myself and put my phone away. I told myself, "I have an appointment with my specialist in 2 days. I trust this doctor, so I will delay/not do my own reading until after I talk to her, and only if she recommends further self-education." I stuck to it and I was proud of myself. Cut to the appointmet today. I got lost in the building where her office is and arrived 14 mins late. The receptionist said there's a 15 minute grace period, so I would have to reschedule. No availability for 2 MONTHS, even for telehealth. First of all, I am so ashamed of being late (that's another trigger for me), and so hurt and rejected that they wouldn't talk to me, even very briefly. Now the urge to google is so extreme. There are objectively concerning things in my report, based on what she said ahead of time that we were looking for, and what would affect treatment. I also have a LOT of c*ncer in my family history; 3/4 grandparents, an aunt on each side, and 1.5 bio parents (1 was skin c*ncer, 1 was prec*ncerous polyps removed but considered high future risk to be monitored), so "-oma" and "t*mor" are big red flags in my minds. So while normally I am actually pretty good about living and making peace with my chronic conditions, and health ocd is really only like 5 on my hierarchy, I know that I actually do have to be vigilant about c*ncer in some ways. My balanced solution is sticking to recommended observation scheduling, and then entrusting the research and checking to my trusted providers, so that I am not being negligent nor being compulsive. But now what? I hate waiting. Idk if/when I'll hear from her. Chronic pain in those regions due to curvature and degenerative discs are the reasons I have to get MRIs every couple of years, and now I am so somatically, obsessively aware of that pain and wondering what's going on. This post is a vent, and is my choice to express the anxiety without giving into the desire to google. I'm not seeking reassurance on whether I/my test results are going to be ok. Still, I think just some understanding and/or advice on holding myself accountable for not compulsing would be deeply appreciated. Thanks.

I have to visit a place tomorrow which triggers my contamination ocdand false memory ocd really bad, can anyone help me in this panic situation. Tips needed!

I’m experiencing anticipatory anxiety related to OCD. I have an important trip in 7 weeks and travel triggers my ocd. My feelings are just a dull ache in my belly constantly, and a jittery feeling. I’m confused about the actual obsessions. I used to have harm OCD that sprung from a travel incident years ago and ever since then, travel has been very fear inducing. I get the physical symptoms then my mind starts going hard. I ruminate about whether or not the stress will cause intrusive harm thoughts which in turn causes some intrusive harm thoughts. It’s very confusing and hard. I want to be someone who enjoys traveling and experiencing new things. I want so badly to enjoy this trip. Any advice helps. Thanks.