i know i’ve asked this before but i keep reading articles about soocd and they almost always say that someone with soocd had previously been completely comfortable with their sexuality and hadn’t questioned it until their soocd. but that... isn’t me. i DID question my sexuality begore, i DID have thoughts from time to time like “am i gay?” that i let go of quickly, and my ocd started when i accepted that i don’t need labels and it’s ok if i am not straight if i’m not. i can’t remember how it started, i don’t remember the exact moment, i didn’t have that immediate sinking feeling when it started. i did block the thought by audibly saying “no” when a thought popped into my head. i did feel anxious all day, i did confess to my mom what i was thinking, and she kinda gave me reassurance and i felt better for a little bit and then it got bad again. i feel like i can’t have ocd because mine started so differently, even though my symptoms are the same. it’s possible that when i questioned my sexuality before that was soocd starting but really mildly, because i wrote about hating it and not wanting to be gay, but i can’t be sure. anyway what i’m wondering is does ocd always have to start immediately and to people who were previously confident in their sexuality? because i think mine started slowly and i had questioned my sexuality before. does this mean i can’t have ocd? *sorry for any spelling errors, im rushing to post this so i haven’t checked it

Sexual Orientation OCD

ｆｅｎｎａ

Date posted: 4y

Not to reassure, but... That part is kind of bullshit. See, the vast majority of straight people do not question themselves, because the society is heteronormative, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. And what about people like me, gay people with SO-OCD about being straight or bisexual, for whom the vast majority have questioned themselves, have identified as various different things before we realized we were gay. We haven't been always comfortable with ourselves. Does that mean we are banned from having SO-OCD?

zeep

Date posted: 4y

i get that but i still triggers me to hear. like since the vast majority of straight ppl don’t question it, then if i question it does that mean it’s proof that i’m likely not straight? and i think that the articles mean that once u know u don’t question it until the soocd starts. i just feel like the start of my ocd is diffrent than a lot of articles say it is from a straight persons perspective, which is triggering. obviously it different bc lgbtq ppl had to come out meaning they questioned it at some point but once they came out, they knew that their label was right and didn’t question it until soocd. it’s just triggering to me bc i have the symptoms of soocd but i don’t fit the normal start of it yk? sorry if i said anything offensive <3

Ditto~

Date posted: 4y

@zeep Therapy with an Ocd specialist may be helpful here because the articles don’t always fully discuss the various ways ocd can present itself. The way I was presenting was different from the articles, so it was helpful to hear what my counselor had to say about it. But again, at the end of the day I still had to take all the info from articles and professionals and make me own decision.

Ditto~

Date posted: 4y

I think people who don’t have ocd can go through this and people with ocd can too. It can be tough to figure out which one it is when you are both human lol and have ocd. The onset and recognition of ocd made me look back in time and notice instances where it was there before but it was too subclinical to notice it was a problem. I have experienced different types of ocd, some of which I was aware were problematic and required effort and therapy to mitigate. When it comes to hocd and rocd, I am bravely allowing time and exploration because they have not been so clear cut for me despite therapy. I just try to be the best person I can be given all conflicting factors.

zeep

Date posted: 4y

yea that makes sense . you are so brave for allowing yourself to expirement haha i would be to scared to even sit with the uncertainty.

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