Hi guys. So my main theme that I've had for many years is mainly harm OCD/violent intrusive thoughts. I've had a couple other themes like inappropriate/unwanted sexual thoughts. I've been able to have some quite successful "remission" periods from these thoughts over the years- although they can still pop up and cause some problems every once in awhile. I've had the harm OCD thoughts about people that I love (which is typical), both about my family members and about my long-term boyfriend. These themes haven't bothered me for a bit now, but a few days ago I started worrying about what if I start analyzing and preservating on how I act when I'm with my boyfriend and then I'm unable to act "my true self" because I'm focusing on it? how I act normally with him is so natural, but what if I start focusing on it and ruin that? Or what if, since we've been together for a year now, I'm not interesting enough or funny or whatever? what if he doesn't love me as much now? I know that these thoughts are irrational, and he tells me he loves me so much and I know he does, but what if I start focusing on how often he tells it to me or his tone of voice? this is bothering me because it's not like me to doubt his love or worry that I'm not going to be able to act like my "normal self". it just kinda freaks me out because when I look at information about ROCD it doesn't really seem to be what I'm experiencing- I'm not constantly questioning if our relationship is "the right one", I'm worried that I'm somehow going to ruin it. Is this an OCD thing that happens to people? Is this normal? I'm not suffering as much as I have in the past when I've been really stuck on an OCD thought/theme, but it's still bothering me enough to make me randomly cry. any input would be appreciated. thanks

"Pure" OCD

dsrby

Date posted: 4y

same!!!!! it's been ~11 months for me and my bf, and my ocd has started adapting too. i think covid and physical separation for so long and only seeing each other once a week is part of it (we used to see each other 6 days a week because of school). being worried that you'll ruin it means you care, enough that you probably won't ruin it. reckless people don't care about their effects on others. just take a deep breath. i talked to my boyfriend about these thoughts recently, and he was very receptive and helpful, and hopefully your fella can and will treat you with the same warmth. i'm here for you <3

akuyve

Date posted: 4y

thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment and your support! that is very helpful and encouraging to hear. the annoying part for me is that I know that it's OCD but I just haven't had it try this angle before and so I'm a little confused on how to combat it as best I can. like, I'm not sure what ERP would look like exactly? do you also have the issue of your OCD telling you that you won't be able to act "normal" again? I honestly don't even know what it means exactly or how to describe it well but that's just kinda how I'm feeling. thanks again for reaching out though! I'm here for you too if you ever need to talk ☺️❤️

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