Having a really hard time with existential OCD. 😔 Earlier I Googled some complex topics I thought I could handle... let's just say it hasn't been easy since. The old me could have looked up moral debates and thought, "Huh, that's an interesting way to look at things." And moved on with confidence. Now I research moral debates and I'm like, "If morality is relative to where you are socialized then do morals matter?? Is moral objectivism legitimate?? Does anything matter?? Are my morals real?? Am I real?? Does anything I believe in matter?? Do I actually believe in my code of ethics or have I just been convinced to?? What is right and wrong??" The pandemic doom and gloom makes it 1000x worse. I am currently unemployed so I have nothing else to focus on except my stupid OCD. And my depression makes me unmotivated and unfocused. I don't even enjoy eating anymore and I am a food lover. I just feel nauseous constantly. And everything feels like I trigger so I barely enjoy any media these days. Universe, please save me from this disorder and this year. I just want to be normal, I want to enjoy life again.

This is incredibly comforting, thank you for commenting. You have no idea how kind and helpful it is to go out of your way to share your story with others. I feel isolated so often that I forget there are millions of others out there struggling with this as well (and honestly just this year in general). I just completed my first session on NOCD and I already feel a million times better. Do you take any medication alongside ERP? (You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable answering)

@K-Dizzle no problem and congrats on completing your first session! i actually think sometimes that sharing with others on the app and you guys uplifting me has been as helpful or even more helpful than erp in terms of getting me through the emotional side of things erp is like the gross medicine you dont want to take to get better but its the thing that will work the most effectively but chatting on here reading your story and relating to it and others relating to mine has been the help i actually look forward to ... in terms of real medication lol i havent been prescribed anything or told i need to my panic attacks and crying spells at the beginning of august were bad and i ended up going to patient first one weekend just so they could give me something to help me make it through the day so for a week i had some very low grade anti anxiety/ antihistamine medicine that they usually give people who are breaking out in hives or something because thats all patient first had and that got me through that week and half and then a week or so later i found NOCD and decided to look into getting a diagnosis i was told my ocd was on the low end of the spectrum because besides my panic attacks and crying spells at the start eventually i was able to like leave the house and i worked like one random catering event for quick cash and made it through fine still not employed but i counted that as like well i can function on a good day if i need to or something ... so i know i dont have it as bad as a lot of people here but the beginning of august was my lowest scariest point with ocd ... i think ive had it since i was young and never knew but in august multiple triggers and stressors caused a few panic attacks and breakdowns so if those become more frequent and common for me at any point i would definitely discuss that with my doctor and see if they think that would be necessary or not or just plain helpful basically im not on anything but im not against it i want to finish my sessions and see where i stand and then go from there, sending good vibes and best wishes your ways hope we both get the outcome we are looking for