CW: Eating disorders - - - - - - - - - - - - Does anyone here have an eating disorder on top of OCD? I can’t stop thinking about the food I just ate, and how full it makes me feel.

i definitely think my eating disorder is caused from my ocd, if not only spurring it on. it feels so good to have such a rigid routine on myself. it feels grounding, but exhausting as well. its so fucking tiring being so strict on myself every second of every day but if i ever went off track i would no doubt think about it for like 3 whole days in paranoia of what the affects will be later and how i’ll get rid of it. i fucking hate it. i cant help but check my weight multiple times a day; if i don’t i feel panicked and lost. sorry this is a post about an ED but i do genuinely think if i didn’t have OCD i probably wouldn’t have this. if this isn’t appropriate to post let me know

every once in a while my body image issues flare up & it can get intense. i obsess over the feeling I have in my clothes to check if I’ve gained weight, think of food, and have this perception that everyone sees me in a certain light I don’t want to see. i really can beat myself up with negative self talk. i haven’t realized until today since body image issues are so common that this could be my ocd. i used to engage in highly restrictive behavior when it came to food—I eliminated any white carbs, dairy, meat, etc & would do intermittent fasting. it’s hard not to fall into this obsession. I gained a few pounds over the last couple of months and it makes me feel anxious for the summer. anyone have a similar experience? x

Possible trigger warning if anyone else has an ED. I saw a post online that basically said if you cant have a restrictive eating disorder without being fatphobic. I have Anorexia, struggled with it for years. I truly believe in beauty at every size and eating what you want, I've never been the type of person to judge others for their bodies or what they eat. I would never look down on someone for their weight and I hate it when other people with my disorder shame people for being overweight or use it to 'encourage' themselves. I do have an unexplainable fear of gaining weight but that unfortunately just comes with the illness and i only ever apply these standards to myself. There's even been times I wished more people could think more like me so that I wouldn't be insecure about gaining weight. I genuienly dont equate weight to anyone's worth, to me it's just a number until I'm the one on the scale. My OCD is telling me now that by struggling an ED i hate fat people or am being offensive. That I should force myself to eat even though it makes me anxious and it's not something I can just force myself to do. I've been in this horrible limbo all day with my mind on whether or not just being sick makes me a terrible person. :') I hate OCD.