I was able to make love with my husband today. Which was amazing but... now I am like do I find him attractive? Do I wanna be with someone else... I think I only got a temporary relief... when I was away from him I was like everything will be okay and I know I love him. But now that I am near him I feel like I really wanna break up 😞 that I don’t wanna cuddle with him anymore... it hurts me so much... I don’t wanna break up with him... 😞😞

So you went through with something that could trigger you and it did just that. That’s good! You didn’t run from intimacy with your partner because your obsessions were present. You’re making progress.

This is me too!

hey :))!! i dealt with this same thought and trigger at one point too! although i wouldn’t avoid intimacy with my boyfriend, i would always check my arousal levels and my attraction towards him whenever we would have sex. the problem with this is, the more you want something to happen and the more you check for that specific feeling to be there, the less likely it is to occur. for example, if you want to feel attracted to your partner and you’re constantly checking for that feeling, you’re most likely going to experience the opposite; you’re gonna feel disconnected from them. so, the best way to go about this is to stop checking your feelings. if you get an initial thought/feeling, don’t dig into it and try to figure out what it means. also, as people with ocd, we tend to let our feelings dictate the truth when that’s simply not the case. this is a type of cognitive distortion called emotional reasoning. it’s very black and white thinking, but for us, it’s the ONLY way we think most of the time, and it comes almost automatically. that’s why it’s so important to be consistent with stopping compulsions, especially checking compulsions. good luck :))!!!!