So onetime I posted something and this one guy on tik tok said “do girls like (characters name) as much as boys love (female characters name)” and at the time I didn’t know I had hocd but I was like “I find him attractive but I liked (f characters name) better and I thought to myself ‘omg because I like the female character in the show better does that mean I like girls’ and then he said “ohhh are you bi because I don’t like bi girls ” and I said “no I just like anime girls, but even if I did what’s wrong with it” and he said “oh because I don’t want that much competition” and I was like a little annoyed because his excuse was kinda dumb and I’m worried that because I got annoyed than that means I was offended because I’m gay or something IDK but the whole time I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay what if I’m gay” I’m worried because I stuck up for them than that means im gay and one time around the beginning of hocd this girl called me gay as an insult and I was like “why are you still using gay as an insult?” but inside I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay” idk I guess I was a little mad because I have gay friends and I know that they would think it’s offensive but What if I got mad because I’m gay myself :/

I never read the comphet thing but I also struggle with soocd (for years now) and we’re usually very logical people, which makes having illogical fears that much more confusing

When I was 10 I also thought it was dumb that people used gay as an insult too like I didn’t actually actually know if people got offended but like it sounded wrong to me that people were using other people’s sexual orientation as an insult

WHAT IF I WAS TOO MUCH OF AN ALLY OR SOMETHING IDK 😭

And idk sometimes my mom would say stuff like “oh why are these guys wearing makeup” and I said “just let them wear makeup that’s what they enjoy” and sometimes my mom would say “I don’t understand how someone can be bi” and I would start thinking “omg what if I turn out to be bi one day” but to her I just said “well idk I guess they just do

Also I watched a video when I was young where Kidd reacted to same sex marriage when I was like 10 and my thoughts were “just let them love who they love there’s nothing wrong with it” idk does this seem like a normal straight ally or is it too much :/

Even my dad said stuff and I was like “well that’s who they like” and I was just thinking “omg what if I turned out to be lesbian I mean I haven’t liked a girl before but what if it happens”

And I saw videos where a boy would want a girls toy or want to do something that’s more of a girl stereotype and my head would just be like “what’s wrong with a boy wanting a girls toy it’s just a toy there’s nothun wrong with that”

Bri, it sounds like you’re just a good person

You believing people should be able to love who they love, dress how the dress and play with whatever toys they want to play with doesn’t even correlate to your sexuality

Def won’t! But let me know if you want to talk things out