Can somebody with ROCD please talk to me?

I thought childhood trauma of molestation got me anxious but I never thought that my worries will lead me to this. I hope I can find a therapist who knows ocd and rocd properly. In India it's difficult to find help with mental health. People make fun.

Yes I have ROCD as well and I’ve been so th my spouse for 10 years and fight seeking reassurance and worry a lot

@Saapphirree M just 20 :( and I got to know about this like this month that something like rocd exists Before that I used to panic thinking there is something wrong with me and I am evil.

@nimziewd Sorry you’re going through that. You can check out The ocd stories podcast too it might be helpful there’s a lot of therapists on there and episodes specific on ocd themes. NOCD might be international at some point have you tried messaging them in the chat function to see if they will be in India soon?

@nimziewd No you are not evil OCD is. There’s an sos function in this app underneath tools it’s can help when you’re having anxiety

@Saapphirree I tried It's not available I guess as they say sorry or something when I open it (for Indians ) but I hope I get some proper professional help.

@Saapphirree Thanks :) for supprotive comments Mara and Saapphirree it is a bit of a task for me to listen to anything, it's like I struggle and get triggered when trying out stuff. I will try the help available on the app

Okay thanks I will check them out :)

I will be typing a bit longer paragraph I hope you read it, m sorry for this long one - So I had this crush on a guy suddenly when I was in a relationship with my current bf for like two days or so, just curiosity but I didn't make efforts because I snapped out myself to reality. That I cannot do this, this isn't right, you love your guy and you are committed. Then maybe I felt guilty but I saw that even if we had small bickerings I loved him. So I kept reminded myself - see you love him so much and all. I eventually forgot about that guy. But I started having doubts which didn't bother me much as I had such thoughts before too. Insecurities like my relationship will fail like the previous one. I was always afraid to take decisions but I still did thinking that no it won't happen, I love my guy. In March we got into a long distance relationship and then the pandemic hit . Before that we were in a live in relationship. I started reminded myself hey u love him u love him and that saying love u in mind continuously won't annoy me. I used to miss him but I was so uncertain because of fear as my previous long distance didn't last, maybe because I never had met my ex actually. But I pulled it off for 3 months. Then I started having doubts about my sexual orientation. Then after some time I started having doubts that I love my two ex and that m forcing myself to be with my guy. This got intense when my boyfriend suddenly said now m committed to u, as in I wanted commitment but I don't know why things escalated after that. Like this breakup and disconnection thoughts ,anxiety , continuous crying, getting themes like harm and pedo. Bits and pieces of memories making me connect them to think I don't love my bf

Hey Please read what I have wrote if u got time 😩

Therapist is not available for Indians, they say igs only for US for now. Okay I will try watching it. I fear that therapy will actually tell Me that I don't love him So Its very difficult

@nimziewd I understand. You have to remember that OCD tries to attack what is important to you, so you may really love him! If it bothers you so. We have to accept the uncertainty though. It's very hard. The main thing is... OCD is not just appearing in the huge anxious parts of our lives... there are many compulsions we do that we may not notice yet. You cannot* and should not* start trying to attack and heal your OCD about your relationship in the beginning. Learn about an OCD hierarchy... that is the structure for where you start

@MaraNOCD I just don't wanna break up That is certain I want to feel for him again without questioning Thank you :) I appreciate u replied after reading so so long texts of mine

Yes I have made a list of them as my therapist gave me a worksheet Like scaling Then what should I do? Exposure from the least trigger to the most triggering thing?

@nimziewd I have downloaded some CBT anxiety workbooks, do those work, have u tried?

@nimziewd I wouldn't recommend CBT. I would recommend ERP.

@nimziewd CBT we end up fighting with our thoughts instead of simply being present.. I think you may agree!

@MaraNOCD Yes maybe , my anxiety decreased after cbt but I got more convinced that my thoughts and doubts r true

@nimziewd Make a hierarchy, from the least to the worst anxieties. We always start at the lowest, and don't do the higher ones until they are also low enough to handle! Consistent ERP exposures bring all the anxieties down, so the higher ones eventually can become 3-4's

@MaraNOCD Okay sure!!!!

Okay thanks 🌹

Yes m numb now after getting over anxious

Okay I am watching him right new!

Ya I don't want a diagnosis I just want to know some tips on how to deal with such thoughts:) I just got a tip Thanks

I hope you're not referring to my advice. I would never attempt to diagnose, ever.. simply giving all info I can on ERP for people who need it, want it, have low access to it.

@MaraNOCD Of course I didn't use ur tips as a diagnosis :) as I said

@MaraNOCD Don't take it the wrong way :) I know the difference between diagnosis with professional advice and the tips we get from other people. I will ask my therapist if I could do that and then do it. Don't u be worried :)

@nimziewd I said no where that u diagnosed me or something like that. I wasn't seeking a diagnosis. I just wanted to see if a therapist is always right or maybe I need to look for other therapist and what can help me cope up with the thoughts that's all.

What does that mean Sorry I didn't get it? Does it mean shifting obession?

Oh sorry maybe the way I said it. Yes that is similar to what I mean. Basically the OCD itself is the problem, not the relationship. That is a common thing shared about ROCD.

@nimziewd I remember tht for some time when I was a kid like 5 or 6 I always ket asking people Will this contaminate me, will I die, this germs from this go to my mouth. Everyone used to laugh at me. But it faded as I grew up I feel such a thing with different obsession struck me again

@MaraNOCD Okay that's what I wanted to know :) thanks

Okay oh yes I have started with the least bothering thought Thank you!

I would say everybody's ROCD can have different themes. Worrying about whether you love your partner is certainly one of them.

@MaraNOCD My rocd is undiagnosed My therapist for now says I have cognitive distortion. So m terrified with what if it's true. :(

@nimziewd What if it's not true Have I stopped loving him to the point that he irritates me? Such questions make me think like m in denial

@nimziewd I mean a therapist on ROCD. Therapists in general are notoriously undereducated on true OCD and often make it worse due to not understanding it. I had the same thing. Ruminating can be compulsions.

@MaraNOCD Therapist on NOCD! Lol oops

@MaraNOCD I have a therapist but she triggered my doubts more with saying to me that don't use rocd word so lightly, check your relationship, I told her that there were no red flags and u told her that I have other themes as well sometimes. I don't know if she is specialised in ocd :(

@nimziewd She is not on nocd. Nocd is not available as therapy for Indians

@nimziewd I see. I understand. Most therapists are not specialized in OCD and it's a HUGE bummer! The good thing is that there is a lot of material out there now to educate ourselves in general. If I ever figure out good tips about my own ROCD - I start therapy soon here- I will remember your name and let you know.

@MaraNOCD Thanks a lot ❤

The constant doubting and worrying sounds like OCD. Regardless of the true outcome. Do you have a therapist on here?

@MaraNOCD No M from India No therapy here