boymom87
- Date posted
- 5y
tonytiger82tonytiger82
- Date posted
- 5y
With OCD, the things that you value the most (such as your life) are doubted/questioned with OCD... If your thoughts deal with with compulsions and not wants/idealiogies, you are truly okay... People with and without OCD have suicidal thoughts all of the time... The difference between people like us is that we tend to question our safety or want 100 percent certainly that our thoughts are false...
DianaaaDianaaa
- Date posted
- 5y
I get what ur trying to say tonytiger but "if your thoughts deal with compulsions and not wants/ideologies you are okay" is kind of giving reassurance, and also prompting that "checking our ocd thoughts to make sure we don't want to do it" which is a compulsion. All this persons ocd will do is "but you do want suicide dont you"? Which will continue his/her suicide ocd theme. We have to accept our suicide ocd may be real and may not be real. We have to (even though itd agonizing) accept we may do it and we may not. That (and resisting compulsions) is the only way to recover. This method is also proven so please believe that uncertainty is the only way!
tonytiger82tonytiger82
- Date posted
- 5y
@Dianaaa You are absolutely correct! I truly need to change my thinking process in regard to my overall obsessions. I was very anxious and scared earlier after ruminating on a thought and messed up and went to Google... I truly need to get hold of my reassurance(compulsions)
DianaaaDianaaa
- Date posted
- 5y
@tonytiger82 No you're good! No shaming here, don't apologize. Ocd can be very tricky. Im just trying to help point out things I seem to think you are doing so you can get better quicker! Recovery is VRRY hard tho so don't feel bad for giving in a bit!
tonytiger82tonytiger82
- Date posted
- 5y
So it causes it to obsess over our thoughts causing us anxiety
Ocdmomma Ocdmomma
- Date posted
- 5y
I go through the same thing
DianaaaDianaaa
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! I am recovering ocd sufferer for 16 years and this was my last theme. I had tk expose myself to suicidal posts, movies etc, then feel the anxiety that they would produce. No compulsions. Then I had to listen to a loop tape of me saying "I may or may not kill myself. I will never be certain if i will eventually do it or not" accepting uncertainty and no compulsions, (not being alone for fear of harming urself) and feeling the intense anxiety that comes with ocd is the only and quickest way to recovery! :)
boymom87boymom87
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so your post it gives me some faith that I’ll get over this. Sometimes I feel like it’s never going to get better
DianaaaDianaaa
- Date posted
- 5y
@boymom87 It does feel like it won't get better. And then the "what if suicide is the only way out and im forced to do the thing i fear the most!?!?!" Thoughts come. but even those thoughts we have to treat as maybe true, maybe not. Who knows? This in itself will eventually help you get better
tonytiger82tonytiger82
- Date posted
- 5y
*us* not it
Ocdmomma Ocdmomma
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you recovered from this?
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- Date posted
- 25w
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- Date posted
- 21w
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Medicine2021_
- Date posted
- 20w
Suicidal OCD and harm OCD
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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