- Date posted
 - 6y
 
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
OH...MY...GOD!!! I sincerely thought I was the only one that had this issue!!! Yes!!! I was going through this for MOMTHS!!! And it's slowly calmed down after a while. It still comes in spikes every once and a while though...omg I'm just so happy I'm not the only one. Just keep using this app and practice acceptance, hopefully that helps you!!
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
I had a huge fear of insanity recently, for a few weeks. I don’t even know how it started but it was scary. And I watched fightclub for the first time during those weeks and it triggered me so bad and made it soooo much worse. But right now, I have NO fear of insanity. Maybe it’s because I just came to grips with the idea that 1) I can’t control it and 2) the fact that I fear it means it’s probably not happening. I hope that gives you some hope because it does get better!!
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
That's exactly the way I feel! I completely relate. I have always equated depression with suicide. I'm constantly checking to see if I'm depressed or sad which in turn makes me feel that was and then makes me think I'm going to commit suicide. I have suicide OCD as well!
- Date posted
 - 4y
 
I also have a fear of depression. How does one know they have a fear or actually are?
- Date posted
 - 4y
 
@OCDwon’tconquerme sorry i know the question was for him but i just wanted to say that i used to fear depression too. i think it’s best to not work it out and check if you are or aren’t depressed. try to accept the worst case scenario of being depressed. you’d still be able to live life according to your values even if you were depressed.
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
I can’t handle the labeling and illness. This is anxiety, depression, delusions, ocd etc. too much stigma and too much miscommunication and differing on the meanings and all that they carry (that is with certain people). I want to be me and explain my thoughts and have someone help me if they hurt me. And I want someone to tell me what the standard is for functioning for a healthy person so I can understand that as the goal as a opposed to an illness ( I think because I think it must be “cured” rather than lived with). If someone else feels this frustration I hear that too. I’m very frustrated that these illnesses and perceptions and my own idea and fears have taken time from my life. That if I have a mental illness I’m defect and it’s something I must rid myself of.
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
Hey Diana can I hear more about your fear of depression? I suffer from the same OCD
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
Yes! I have a fear of depression bc I equate that with wanting to kill one’s self. I have suicide ocd really bad Rn and I was equating being depressed with automatically killing yourself. But, I asked my mom who is a clinical social worker and she said that depressed people actually rarely kill themselves. It’s a false stigma. So now my depression ocd is gone and it’s just full on suicide ocd, not afraid of depression anymore. What type of ocd do you have? Hope this helped by the way!
- Date posted
 - 6y
 
You have suicide ocd right? Sorry just reread your post I think you were inferring that ?
Related posts
- Date posted
 - 25w
 
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
- Date posted
 - 24w
 
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
- Date posted
 - 22w
 
Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help
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