- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm sorry you're stressing over this. I've looked into OCD for a while and I've discovered a few things. The biggest thing is humans have about 70 million thoughts going through our heads every day. Most of it is just garbage. It comes from our imaginations and from the world around us, we are constantly thinking without even realizing it. So most of the stuff we think about is JUNK. They dont mean anything. Neither do feelings, urges, or anything else. Another thing is the OCD brain likes everything to be perfect. So when a "weird" thought crosses our minds, we freak! We need to be comforted and the only way our minds know how to is by overthinking, doing research, cleaning, something that soothes us. Our brains mean well, but they are scared and just trying to protect us from the discomfort it creates for itself. With all that said, just about every thought, feeling, urge, or whatever you feel is just your anxiety freaking out. The thoughts and other stuff you have dont mean anything :) One last thing, our brains like to branch off from thought to thought to thought. If you have a revised intrusive thought that wont stop bothering you, it's still just a thought. It means nothing. Hope this was helpful :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have the same thoughts and have false memory of doing something bad when a child in my class was touching himself under the table. When my ocd kicked in badly over a holiday break, I started questioning my intentions towards children- did I fancy them, why was I thinking like this, do I want to touch them inappropriately, am I sexually attracted to children. So frightening. Never before thought such intense things. Ocd is a bugger!!! Makes you question your morality, just in case you trip up and do something completely out of character. It takes away the trust you have in yourself. It’s a monster!!! The fact that many people experience this shows that it is an illness and not a reality. X
- Date posted
- 6y ago
awesome ^ but also i have the SAME thing. you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That helps a lot. Thank you so much
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I agree with what @rbheaton said, very helpful. Ocd thrives on trying to figure out what a thought MEANS when in truth it doesn’t mean anything. It’s the junk channel. I like the analogy of traffic going by. Just let the thoughts pass on by like cars.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
and i also work with children
- Date posted
- 6y ago
How has it been with you?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@socks23 it is most definitely an illness! What you said could describe me
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Socks23. I hear ya. Although the way it presents to me is different ( interfering thoughts during sex, feeling like abuse is happening when I’m not I’m just with my wife,getting stuck on images of a very particular act happening), it’s all the same. The brain going haywire over something it has deemed a threat. An interesting insight I have had recently is just how many weird thoughts I have had for some years where, within them, I was trying to control super specific outcomes, leaving nothing to chance. It seems it has to get into extreme violence, something sexually perverse or deeply religious for it to get us into therapy. But the process is there churning the same pattern - just now on deeply disturbing topics. The worst thing I could, or would even think about doing, would be to abuse a child. God........ It’s incredible that the brain can torture you with your actual worst nightmare
- Date posted
- 6y ago
So true. I’d had obsessions growing up I think over things not being good enough, about killing a stranger, about being pregnant even though at the time I was still a virgin. Yet I didn’t see it as silly but as truth and a reality and I remember being so so upset and distraught about how my life was going to terrible. Growing up with lots of neglect and uncertainty, with a mum with bipolar has made my mind, I think, more susceptible to thoughts of life going horribly wrong or me losing control of my life. Then losing my parents and boyfriend at the time, plus my grandma just shook my world and then becoming a teacher further played on my anxieties of not being good enough, not doing my job well enough, because the culture of where I work is very much stiff upper lip and pretend all is good and don’t question anything- little support with behaviour of children etc and being chastised for doing things in a certain way and then for that way of doing things to then be invented by someone in management and then becoming the status quo and you’re like that’s what I said back then yet you said it was wrong. All comes down to not being able to voice opinions and trust your judgements. X
Related posts
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 23d ago
I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary
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