does anyone else suffer from being unable to think about anything besides death. death in general but especially suicide? i spend every waking moment of my life thinking of death or wishing for death. it’s just something i’ve gotten used to because i can’t do anything without voices in my head saying i want to die or i wish i was dead.

thank you. it really is i can’t escape it at all and i’ve almost just become numb to it until sometimes it hits me that i’m thinking like this everyday and it scares me how much of an effect that can have on my brain and life in general. i don’t know how to change it

@cowgrl for sure. are you afraid you’re having these thoughts or just struggling with having them?

@ocdm.7 i have no idea. both and neither. i just don’t know how serious it could get because i genuinely do want to die most of the time, partly due to the fact that i think about it nonstop. there are graphic images in my head everyday and it does scare me that i want to die but i also could be scared of the thoughts i’m having. if this makes sense. thank u for listening

@cowgrl i get it. those thoughts aren’t you. i know it’s tough i’ve been there but you gotta keep going. you can do this you can learn to live with all of this. i’m always here to talk i love helping people on here.

@cowgrl This sounds alot like suicide ocd, I dont want to reassure you but I bet my life on it that this is suicide ocd. I have suicide themed ocd right now too and I have days like that as well, its terrible and makes me think that I want it or like it or have to or whatever. My suicide ocd scares me too bc of the brain part of it, how my thoughts are the trigger and its so anxiety inducing!

@Dianaaa how powerful is ocd? that is just like so interesting to me that your ocd makes you think you like it.

@ocdm.7 ? What do you mean? Suicide ocd is about suicide intrusive thoughts. Pocd is about pedophilic thoughts, harm ocd is about hurting other people etc. Its the same thing its just my theme

@Dianaaa oh no i just meant ocd in general! you just seem to know a lot about it!

@ocdm.7 No I understand! Sorry I thought you were asking why my ocd does this so I was like idk 😂😅

@Dianaaa oh nooo haha. i mean like how powerful is ocd? like what’s the most powerful thing it’s done to you or made you thought.

@ocdm.7 ummm, lots of things im not really sure. probably made me have 8 hour long anxiety attacks 😄

@Dianaaa i’m so sorry. it sucks

@ocdm.7 Its okay! What's the most powerful things its done to you?

@Dianaaa longggg anxiety attacks and extreme mental distress

@ocdm.7 How long do yours last? Mine can last 24 hours or multiple times a day sometimes 😅

@Dianaaa 2 hours max. have you seen a therapist that sounds like it must be incredibly hard.

@ocdm.7 Yes im seeing a therapist, I am in erp and recovery right now. Its not like blinding panic attacks, its just like increased heart rate and high anxiety for long amounts of time when my ocd is triggered. But im learning how to handle it and i don't currently have panic disorder

@Dianaaa well that’s good!!! i’m hoping to get therapy soon. do you like yours?

@ocdm.7 Thank you! Not gonna lie its not the funnest or easiest relieving! But it definitely helps long term and helps you live and function normally alot better!!

@Dianaaa that’s awesome!!

@ocdm.7 Are you on a waiting list?

@Dianaaa no i wanna try to do it through NOCD. where are you doing it from?

@ocdm.7 Nocd too! You should do it. Do u live in the u.s?

@Dianaaa yeah i know i’ve been dealing with suicide ocd for a while now. it makes me feel the same. it really is so hard to live with i hope you’re okay and that it gets better for you.

@cowgrl Oh I hope that for you too! Mine is getting better luckily! You should try doing therapy through nocd as well. Its really helpful.

@Dianaaa oh yeah i do. is there a waiting list?

@ocdm.7 No not for nocd! Call them and get setup with a therapist! Its very helpful

@Dianaaa ok cool! i’m gonna try this week hopefully!

@Dianaaa I think i will. thank you