Can anyone relate or give me some advice..I tried to do some erp and I read the article on comphet and I related to several of the "signs" on there. I also read an article about how a woman who was married to a man for 12 years had an awakening and realized she was attracted to women and divorced her husband to find a girlfriend. Also how most straight girls can't imagine themselves being sexual with another woman or they get grossed out/uncomfortable and that doesn't happen to me. I don't necessarily like it or get turned on by it but I feel like "whatever" about it...HOWEVER when I also think about me being sexual with a guy I don't get all hot and bothered and have sexual thoughts about a guy and crave it like most women do...I'm really scared about this

This.

See I read this and it makes sense but then my mind was like why did the first thing she say was "All of this might prove you are gay" Ugh...I hate this

@a01 It’s part of accepting that, even if it’s possible our worst fear are true, that we can’t live a life beholden to that possibility.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I get that but I don't understand the difference between people who really know or "awaken" after years that they are gay or in denial. Because how can they know that and I can't. How can people relate to similar feelings and experiences of gay people but still be straight I just don't get it

@a01 You're trying to understand the difference because you fear your thoughts so much, but the truth is, it really doesn't matter. You have a million questions that all feel super important and urgent about sexuality and identity. I've been there! But they will only feel scarier and more urgent the more you try to answer them.

@emma589 But what about the people who say they questioned themselves for years or had anxiety/confusion about their sexuality and ended up being gay...what's the difference between hocd and them? Because sometimes I get feelings not thoughts that feel so real

@a01 I can't answer that question because it would be reassurance. Even if you found an answer that made sense, your OCD would come up with a new problem very quickly. I believe you can move forward getting to the root of the problem- by seeking help with ERP and making healthy steps towards accepting uncertainty every day :)

@a01 You want some sort of litmus test for genuine questioning vs ocd and there isn’t one. Often, the questions asked by each look very similar to the untrained eye. BUT people with OCD follow a particular pattern: triggers produce intrusive thoughts that lead to mental compulsions and further obsession. People who genuinely question their sexuality for long periods follow many paths and can’t be summed up so neatly, but ocd sufferers can. And your endless quesitoning and mental compulsions position you heavily towards the ocd sufferer.